He couldn’t pinpoint an exact time or place. Rather, she’d gradually grown on him as he’d grown to respect and admire her. Over time his feelings had changed to something intensely more personal, and now here he was watching as she slept on his couch in his home.
He had her exactly where he most wanted her, and his hands were tied and he was unable to act on the attraction between them.
Still, he found himself getting up so he could be closer to her. He knelt in front of the couch, his fingers going to trace the baby-soft skin on her cheek.
Her hair was pulled into a ponytail, as it always was, but tendrils escaped and floated down her face, giving her an air of vulnerability that made his chest tighten.
He’d seen her at her most vulnerable. At her lowest point. It was an image he wished he could wash from his memory. Her broken and bloody, her eyes awash with shame.
Even now it was like a punch to the stomach. He couldn’t even think about it without wanting to put his fist through a wall.
He lowered his lips to brush across her brow, and then, because it wasn’t enough, he let his mouth linger, simply absorbing the sensation of having her so close.
He inhaled deeply, taking in the fragrance of her shampoo and the smell of her soap, a scent he now identified as uniquely hers.
She stirred beneath him, and then her eyelids fluttered open. He pulled away because he didn’t want to panic her if she was still half asleep. But she smiled at him, her eyes flashing with instant recognition.
“Did I sleep too long?” she whispered.
He smiled and shook his head. “Not at all. You’ve been out for a couple of hours. I figured you needed to catch up.”
“Oh good, so I didn’t miss the steaks?”
“Nope. They’re marinating now, and as soon as I get the grill fired up, I’ll throw them on and we can hang out on the patio if you feel up to it.”
She let out a soft sigh that sent a streak of pleasure through his senses. She’d made sounds like that the night they’d spent together. Sounds of satisfaction, like she was happy in the world.
He’d do anything he could to give her those small moments. Anything at all to remove the shadows in her mind. He wanted to give her new memories to replace the painful ones.
“Know what I’d really like?” she asked, a wistful note to her voice.
He almost laughed, because at present, she could ask for anything at all and he’d damn near kill himself making sure she got it.
“What’s that?”
“A really long, hot shower.”
He frowned a moment, contemplating the possible ramifications.
“I’m not sure you should be standing that long on your own.”
Her face bloomed with color—one of the few times he could ever remember her blushing.
“I can make it,” she said. “As long as I can brace my hand on the shower wall, I’ll be fine. If I have any trouble, I promise I’ll holler for you.”
“Works for me,” he said, giving in. Not like he’d have denied her anyway. “I’ll help you into the bathroom, make sure you have all the stuff you need, and then I’ll wait in the kitchen.”
“That sounds heavenly. Help me up?”
She reached out her hand and he stood, letting his fingers twine with hers. She pulled herself into a sitting position, gingerly letting her legs slide over the side of the couch.
He should have taken her straight to Fort Campbell. It’s what Steele had wanted, but Cole had wanted her here. He wanted to give her some downtime and not take her to a place where she’d be constantly reminded of her injury and how she’d gotten it.
Besides, P.J. was tough. She wasn’t going to wimp out over a simple flesh wound.
“How about you let me give you some pain medication so you can enjoy the evening,” he said.
For a moment he thought she would refuse, but then she sighed. “Okay.”
“I’ll have it for you when you get out of the shower. I put your bag in the spare bedroom. Holler if you need anything.”
She nodded and then started in the direction of the bathroom. Though she’d never been here before, she found her way around well enough. It wasn’t like the house was so huge she’d get lost.
After reassuring himself she wasn’t going to fall, he hurried out to light the grill, not wanting to be outside for long in case she needed him.
When he returned inside, he went to the bathroom and put his ear to the door. Hearing the water running, he relaxed and went back to the kitchen so he could start on dinner preparations.
If he had his way, he and P.J. were going to enjoy a peaceful evening together. Just the two of them. No team. No job. No outside world.
CHAPTER 27