“Rest and let me hold you,” he said in a quiet voice. “Just you and me, P.J. Don’t think about the past or the future. Just focus on right now, you getting better, and let yourself lean on me.”
She rested her head on his chest and stretched her injured leg down the length of his. He was warm and solid and it felt so very good to give in and allow him to shoulder her fears just for a little while.
It took some time to muster the courage to ask the question burning her tongue. She opened her mouth several times and ended up closing it when her nerve fled.
“You care about me . . . even after what happened?”
At first she wasn’t sure he heard her muffled whisper. Then she realized he was merely collecting himself before answering. His voice was chock-full of emotion. He sounded angry, but not at her. The words came as though he struggled to get them out there without losing his composure.
“I don’t give a damn about what happened other than the fact that those sons of bitches hurt you. They put their hands on you. What happened changes nothing about my feelings for you. If anything the fact that you’re coming out of this so strong makes me respect your strength even more, and I already had a healthy dose of admiration for your ability to kick some serious ass.”
She pushed upward, placing her hand in the hollow of his chest as she looked him in the eye. “I have scars, Cole. They aren’t pretty. You saw where he cut me. There are scars in each of those places. And they’re not going away.”
He touched her chin with the tip of his finger and then kissed her almost as if he couldn’t resist. Then he let his hand slide down until his palm rested over her heart.
“I’m more concerned about the scars here,” he said, pressing inward on her chest. Then he lifted his hand to her temple and tapped gently. “And in here.”
He kissed her again, this time on the forehead.
“The physical scars don’t change who you are, P.J. The emotional ones do. Those are the ones I want to help you with. I don’t give a damn that your body has a few more scars. Hell, I’m riddled with them and you didn’t seem to mind.”
Her cheeks tightened and heat rose up her neck.
He picked up her hand, the one resting on his chest, and he laced their fingers together, holding their hands between them.
“I’ll wait as long as it takes, P.J. I’ll do whatever I can to help you. Whatever it takes for you to heal physically and emotionally. Just know that I’m not going anywhere, and it’s time for you to stop running.”
She snuggled back into his embrace, nuzzling her cheek against his chest as she processed the words that still floated around her mind. Such beautiful words, and she knew he meant them. Cole wasn’t the type to bullshit. He was lighthearted and fun when the occasion called for it, but at the end of the day, he was a straight shooter. He was blunt and spoke his mind.
And now that he had spoken precisely what was on his mind, she was blown away by the implications.
Here was a man who admitted he had feelings for her. Not only that, but he was also willing to wait for as long as it took her to get her head on straight and heal from the trauma she’d endured.
Hell, even more than that, he was risking his life, his reputation and his career in order to help her seek justice.
He was helping her find a way to murder another individual.
She winced at the thought of taking him down with her. She couldn’t bear it. Couldn’t bear it if the team was dragged through the mud with her.
She closed her eyes, secure in the knowledge that she was safe. Cole was here, surrounding her. Offering her unconditional support.
He’d been up front with her. Had told her what was in his heart. Now she had to figure out what was in her own heart and sort out her muddled feelings for a man who infuriated and enticed her in equal measure.
The future was a very scary prospect when she didn’t even know if she had a present. What scared her the most, though, was the very real possibility of screwing up a relationship with someone she genuinely cared about before it even got off the ground.
Cole deserved someone who could give him one hundred percent. Someone who could give herself without any reservations. He was a good man. Loyal. Fiercely protective. A man any woman would be lucky to have.
She could see herself as that woman, and maybe that was what scared her most of all.
And it wasn’t as simple as deciding they fit and then living happily ever after. They had their team to consider. They had dozens of young girls depending on them. They couldn’t afford to fuck it all up because their emotions got in the way.
As much as she wanted to be selfish and let tomorrow take care of itself, she knew she had to remain objective and make the mission her priority. For her own sanity as much as for the protection of those precious little girls.