Shades of Grey(38)

“Where is she now?” Cole gritted out. Like hell she was quitting. Of all the things he thought Steele might say, that wasn’t one of them.

Steele sighed. “I don’t know.”

Dolphin held up his hand, his head shaking in disbelief. But Cole beat him to the punch.

“Let me get this straight. P.J. came to you. She quit the team. And you just let her walk out of here and you have no idea where she is or where she was going?”

“I told her I wouldn’t accept her resignation,” Steele said. “She was adamant. She gave me this bullshit story about not wanting to bring the team down and that she needed time.”

“And you bought that load of crap?” Cole asked incredulously.

Everyone else had quieted and looked between Steele and Cole with apprehension. Steele was their commander and he was afforded the respect due that position. Always. Until now. He wasn’t ever questioned. Until now.

“I didn’t say I bought anything, but I couldn’t force her to stay. I can’t force her to make decisions we think are for the best. She asked for time and space. I couldn’t not give it to her.”

“Jesus,” Dolphin muttered. “You blew this one, Steele. It’s fine to pull that ice man routine on the job and on a mission. But this is a goddamn teammate we’re talking about here. No one gives a fuck about being fair and evenhanded in this situation. She needs us, and you let her walk away.”

Steele rounded furiously on Dolphin. Before Cole could blink, he had Dolphin against the wall, his forearm across Dolphin’s neck.

“Don’t you fucking talk to me about being an ice man. I was there, remember? I heard every goddamn thing that happened to her. She’s mine. Just like every one of you are mine. If you don’t think I’m furious over the entire situation then fuck you.”

Dolphin stared back unflinchingly, and finally Steele loosened his hold and stepped back. Just as quickly, Steele collected himself and the cool facade was back in place. But now they all knew just how close he was to the edge.

Cole turned and rammed his fist into the wall. He couldn’t even think for imagining P.J. alone, feeling God knows what. She’d quit the fucking team. They were family. And she walked away.

He drew back to hit the wall again and was nearly tackled by Baker and Renshaw. They took him down, pinning him to the floor.

“Get off me!” Cole roared.

“Chill your ass out,” Renshaw barked. “None of this is helping.”

“Enough!” Steele bellowed.

Cole flipped Baker off his chest and then swung at Renshaw. Renshaw ducked the punch, but it was enough to unbalance him, and Cole was back on his feet and staring a hole through Steele.

“I agree with Dolphin on this one, ice man. You blew it.” He advanced on Steele until it was virtually only the two of them. The others faded into the background as Cole faced his team leader down.

“Goddamn you, Steele, you knew I was looking for her. You knew I’d been all over Denver. You knew how fucking worried I’ve been. And you just let her go and you get around to telling us two days later? What the fuck, man?”

Steele’s jaw tightened. “I hoped she’d change her mind.”

“Yeah, well, how did that work out for you? What the fuck are we supposed to do? Pretend nothing happened? Move on? Take another mission? Hell, why don’t we just replace her since she’s so goddamn expendable?”

“Enough, Cole,” Steele said, his voice as cold as ice.

“Enough is right,” Cole said, fury rising, sharper, harder with every breath.

He turned and stalked toward the door.

“Whoa, wait a minute,” Dolphin said. “Where the hell are you going?”

Cole turned and looked at his team,that was no longer the same. It never would be. It wasn’t a team without P.J.

“I’m out,” he clipped out. “I’m going after P.J. I’m not leaving her to shoulder this alone. She needs us.”

“Don’t be so damn hotheaded,” Steele growled.

Cole’s lip curled in disgust. “Yeah? Why don’t you stop being so fucking coldhearted. What you did was wrong and you damn well know it. You should have sat on her if you had to until we could hash this out as a team.”

“She came to me,” Steele snapped. “Not you. Not the team. She came to me, so I can only assume she wanted it that way.”

Steele’s words dug deep because he was right. It was obvious P.J. had no intention of facing Cole, and it gutted him.

“I don’t give a damn what she thinks she wanted,” Cole said softly. “She’s not thinking straight and we all know it. Sometimes doing the right thing is all wrong. Giving her space and time and all that other bullshit is great on paper, but you and I both know that the very last thing she needs is to be alone. We’re her family. Her only family. We’re supposed to give a damn. We’re supposed to stand up for her when no one else will. And we’re damn sure supposed to call her out when she’s making stupid choices and fucking up. That’s what family does. Live and die as a team, right? Well, you hung her out to dry, Steele. And you hung the rest of us out right along with her, because now we all look like a bunch of uncaring assholes who just let her walk away without a fight.”