“That fucker gives me the creeps. I don’t care if he’s a pastor or not,” Knox had told him.
“He’s not concerned she’s missing?” Shade had asked sharply.
Knox had shaken his head. “Said she goes on trips with her friends. Seems to think she’s laying on a beach somewhere, that the kid is with the grandmother. We’re checking it out. I’ve never seen a man deluding himself to the extent he is.”
“That’s why Brooke picked him; he’s easily fooled and believes every word out of her lying mouth.”
“If she goes for that type, why is she so hung up on you?” Knox had joked. Shade hadn’t thought it funny then, and he didn’t now. He should have taken care of Brooke after Evie’s attack.
John wiggled in the bassinet as they ate a quiet dinner. After they had loaded the dishwasher, Shade packed him upstairs and played with him on the bed as Lily showered.
She blow-dried her hair before lying down next to him on the bed. Then she lowered her gown and picked John up. He rooted for a brief second before latching on to his mother’s nipple.
Shade laughed at Lily’s wince, rising off the bed. “I’m going to take my shower,” he said.#p#分页标题#e#
Going to the bathroom, he stepped into the shower and turned the water on cold. He hadn’t touched Lily since before she had delivered the baby; as a result, his cock was nearly bursting after watching her nurse their child. The doctor had given them the go-ahead to have sex again, but Shade felt Lily wasn’t ready.
Neither of them had brought up the details she had found out about him; therefore, Shade felt he should let Lily take the lead. She deserved to have time to think things through before they came back to the level of intimacy they’d had before. It couldn’t have been easy finding out you were married to a monster the same day you gave birth to his child.
Shade managed to get his raging hard-on under control. When he went back into the bedroom, Lily wasn’t there. For a second, Shade’s heart stopped until he heard her singing from the next room.
She sang to John every night when she put him to sleep, not that he would sleep long. He awoke every three hours like clockwork.
Shade was watching television with Lily sleeping next to him when he heard John waking. Shade quietly got out of the bed without disturbing her as he went to the nursery.
“Sorry to disappoint you, little man, but it’s just me.”
Shade changed his diaper and laid him back down before going downstairs to make him a bottle.
Lily had diligently pumped her milk, telling him it was so he would be able to give John the occasional bottle. She believed it would help them bond.
Shade went back upstairs, lifting his wailing son into his arms then sitting down in the rocking chair with him. Shade placed the bottle in his mouth and watched him suck the milk down.
Lily was wrong; he felt no different than when he had given a bottle to Penni or one of Razer’s kids.
His son’s eyes drooped as he sucked.
“Twinkle, twinkle little star…” Shade sang.
His son’s blue eyes opened, tearing up before jerking his mouth away. Then he began to scream.
“I think you scared him.” Lily giggled, walking forward.
Shade gratefully relinquished his wailing infant. “I scare everyone.”
“Not me,” Lily said, taking his place in the rocking chair. “At least, not as much anymore,” she clarified at his raised brow.
“I’ll do some work while you show up my singing talents,” he teased, watching the two of them together until he made himself leave. The look on her face when she stared at their child always captivated him. It was like she was holding a miracle in her hands.
Shade was working on his laptop when Lily came to bed. He shut it before turning off the light. Lily rolled toward him, laying her head on his chest and her arm over his stomach.
Shade gave a brief laugh as he twirled a tendril of her hair around his finger.
“What’s so funny?”
“I was just remembering, when we first started sleeping together, I was the one who held you, but now you’re the one who holds me.”
Lily started to rise. “I didn’t—”
“Stay,” Shade said, pressing down on her back until she lay relaxed against him again.
“Shade, I don’t believe those reports.”
“Lily…” He wasn’t going to let her believe another lie about him, and he wasn’t about to go back to the last year of fearing she would find out the truth. Her finding out had been a relief in a sense, taking the weight of fear away.
“Don’t tell me you don’t care about The Last Riders. I won’t believe it. Don’t tell me you don’t care about Penni, Beth, or our child, either.” Lily’s voice trembled. “I won’t believe you. Not everyone loves the same way. You just show and feel it differently from the rest of us.”#p#分页标题#e#