She popped the cork of a bottle of champagne. Foam sprayed the living room but she didn't care, she only let out a whoop of celebration. I joined her, laughing as the suds dripped onto the floor.
"Okay," I said. "It's time to get our party on."
We raided Valentina's closet and downed the champagne, then took an Uber to a nearby club. It should have been freeing-a perfect night of dancing and celebrating the way I'd always loved to do in New York.
But now? Now I could only look around and picture that going-away party at the little bar, how everyone knew each other, and how I was now surrounded by strangers who didn't know me any more than they cared about me-which was to say not at all.
An hour into the festivities, I tapped Valentina on the shoulder. "I think I'd like to head out. You can stay if you want."
She frowned. "You okay?"
"Yeah," I lied. "Just still tired from the trip."
She insisted on leaving with me, but she didn't press for answers. I felt nothing but relief as I climbed into bed and pulled the covers over my head a half hour later.
I'd taken a huge step with my parents, and that had felt amazing. But once the euphoria had faded, I realized I still had a gaping hole in my heart.
And the only person who could fill it was more than a thousand miles away.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Luke
Another few days passed and I worked even harder, throwing myself into the distillery with everything I had. Business was booming, and the regular order from the bar had doubled in the span of a week. Occasionally, Duke or Molly would stop by to see what was going on-and to talk to me yet again about Charlotte-but for the most part, this was my baby. My big chance to make a difference.
Still, every night I pulled out my phone and did what was quickly becoming a ritual. I opened Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, searching for any mention of Charlotte, but Molly was right. Charlotte hadn't posted anything since the day before she left.
The only way to know she was okay would be to call her.
To ask how she was doing.
To beg her to come back.
I took a deep breath. For days, this decision had been looming over me. I thought again about my mother, trapped in a marriage that didn't work. I thought about Sarah, who, despite all her positive qualities, hadn't come to Shady Grove for the right reasons. I'd begged them both to stay when they'd already made up their minds to leave, and Charlotte . . .
Wasn't she the one who'd wanted me to ask her to stay? Wasn't her asking me an indication that she needed my validation-some proof that I really, truly wanted her here?
And I did.
More than anything, I wanted her here with me.
So, what the fuck are you doing moping around here, you idiot?
I whipped out my phone, and before I could let my own fears convince me to change my mind, booked myself a ticket to Los Angeles. It might never work out, but goddamn it, I was going to try.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Charlotte
City life wasn't how I remembered it.
Within the first week of arriving in Los Angeles, I'd gotten myself a job as a barista and had made a couple of new friends who liked to party. But as much as I tried to fit in, something still stuck out like a sore thumb . . . and I was beginning to think that something was me.
My mother had called a few more times, trying to ensure I'd go see a doctor. My father had even called and insisted that if I'd only come back, I could work for his company after all.
But now that I'd had my awakening, their attempts didn't affect me the way they'd hoped. Instead, I listened to their concerns, considered everything they said, and hung up feeling even better about my decision than I had before.
And every single time, I'd wonder with a bittersweet pang if Luke would be proud of me.
Of course, that thought often led me down a dark and dangerous path. Even looking at my phone nowadays had me scrolling through my contacts and double-checking my texts, just in case I'd missed a message.
But I knew I hadn't.
Luke hadn't posted on Facebook or Twitter, and he didn't have an Instagram account. I'd started a few posts of my own, talking about the wonderful sun and sand of California, but then deleted them and put away my phone. I wasn't going to lie to the world when I was already lying to myself.
California was beautiful and sunny and sandy, yes. But it was lonely, and the traffic sucked. All the buildings felt like big industrial blocks with no charm or character, nothing like the cute little shops along the main street of Shady Grove.
If Luke came to Los Angeles, all he would see was the thing he hated most-the ridiculous city-slicker nonsense that made him stay so firmly in Shady Grove to begin with. I was having a hard time admitting it, but I missed the warmth and charm of that little speck on the map.
When my latest shift at the nearby café ended, I hung up my apron and ducked under the counter, punching out quickly before I headed down the sidewalk and back to Valentina's place.