James was right. I can choose.
And I will not choose this.
I walk away. I just turn and start walking.
My father calls after me. "Vera, come back here please."
"No."
"What?"
"I'm done." I keep walking.
"Vera," he says, warning in his tone. "We talked about this."
I turn around and look him straight in the eye, defiantly. "No. You talked and you didn't listen. I'm done. I'm not doing this."
He stalks toward me, lowering his voice. "You live in my house."
I laugh. "That's your threat? I don't need your house."
"If you walk away from this, don't bother coming home."
Those words settle in my gut with a heavy finality, but also a relief. I feel like I always knew this moment would come. I just didn't know what I would choose. I do now.
"Okay. I'm sorry, Dad. But I need to do this my way."
I don't look back, and on the way toward the road I call another cab.
I go straight to the construction site, and I feel light as air. I have nothing. And it's totally fine. I know that I'm going to be okay. Because even though I'm scared, I know that I have somewhere to go.
I pay the cab driver and go into the house, listening for the telltale sounds of a power drill or hammering. There's nothing though. I walk my way through but there's still nothing. No one is here, and my heart sinks. I was sure that this is where he would be. He's not working at my house anymore. Did he have another contract? I don't know. I didn't ask.
I don't even have his phone number because our relationship was a secret at first, and then we were together so much we never even asked. Even if I did have his number, though, I know that this cannot be fixed with a phone call. I sit down on the steps outside the house. It's early, maybe he just hasn't gotten here. After an hour of waiting, my anxiety rises. After two, I know that I can't stay anymore.
Where would he go? I don't know his favorite places. I don't know where he goes when he wants to be alone. I don't know where he goes when he's blowing off work. But I have an idea. I do a quick internet search for our caretaker company and give them a call. It's not hard to get them to give me Mike's phone number when I tell them who I am, and in just a few minutes his line is ringing.
"Mike Willis," he answers.
"Hey, Mike. This is Vera Caldwell."
There's clear surprise in his voice. "Hi, Ms. Caldwell."
"Please call me Vera," I say.
"Sure."
"I was actually wondering if you had heard from James today?"
"Yeah, earlier this morning," he says. "He told me not to bother going to the Masterson house today, said he was taking the day off. Is something wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong," I say, far too enthusiastically. "We just never exchanged phone numbers. You know how we met-well. I'd like to give him a call. We … had a little disagreement this morning and I want to apologize." That's minimizing it, but I don't really feel like baring my soul to Mike.
"Sure thing," he says, giving me James's number.
"Did he say where he was going by any chance?"
"No, sorry," Mike says. "Sometimes he goes to the beach. Surfing. Walking. Other than that though … "
"Thanks, Mike," I say. "I hope I see you and your father soon."
He laughs. "You too. Let me know if you need anything else."
I can't dial James's number fast enough, and my heart plummets as it goes directly to voicemail. Shit. I can't even ask him where he is. I call another cab. I search James's address on the internet, pulling up a map to look for the beachfront closest to his house.
I walk up and down that stretch of shore for a long time, hoping to see him. But he's not there. I try to let the ocean soothe me, the waves tickling my bare feet. Even that doesn't calm the anxiety in my heart. I need to fix this. I need to tell him what I chose. The sun is beginning to sink in the sky when I make my way back to his house.
He's not there, but I'm not leaving. This time, I will stay until he comes back. It's his house, he can't stay away forever.
I take off my shoes and curl my knees up to my chest. I keep my phone in my hand, hoping that maybe he'll see a missed call on his phone and return it. It's a long shot, but hope loves long shots. The time while I wait feels like an eternity. I know I should get up, maybe go someplace and eat something, but I'm too upset to feel hungry and I'm not going anywhere without talking to James.
It's just getting dark when he pulls into the driveway. He sees me and stares. I see relief on his face, and worry. He gets out of the car and comes up the drive, but stops a few feet away from me, seeming unsure. He's here. Finally. I can't even describe the feeling that sinks into me, and what exactly it means. "Hi," I say.
"Hi."
I don't get up yet. "I'm really sorry about this morning."
"I've been driving around all day, kicking myself for the things I said. I'm sorry too."
He comes to me and pulls me to my feet, pulls me into his arms and holds me.
"I told my dad off," I say, and it is so freeing.
"What?"
I tell him what happened, and his smile gets bigger and bigger. By the time I finish, I'm trying to tell him through all of his kisses. "I'm so proud of you," he says.
I laugh. "Thanks. Do you think … would it be crazy to ask if I can stay with you until I get things sorted out?"
"Vera, you can stay with me as long as you want. Forever, even." He takes my face in his hands, and there's no hint of a smirk or a joke. "I'm in love with you. Please stay. Stay with me."
My breath catches and I know what I'm going to say next with the same certainty I knew how to choose today.
"I love you too."
Epilogue
Vera
Six Months Later
Peru is beautiful in the morning. I look out my window at the mountain view and stretch. James is still asleep behind me, and I'm going to let him. He worked hard yesterday, and he worked me hard last night. He deserves his rest.
It's our last day here, and I'm going to miss it. Hopefully we've done some good. With our crew we've built ten new homes for people in this rural area, and now we're completely finished. Today we'll meet with the local government to evaluate what we've done and make arrangements with them for future trips. I'm excited at the prospect of getting to talk to them about exactly what they want and need in terms of housing and infrastructure.
If we can make it happen, we'll try. We're not a full non-profit yet, this trip being funded by several charitable corporations including The Harrison Foundation. But I know James won't let me rest until I finally start my own company. And I won't let him rest until I'm sure he can do it with me.
I check my email on the phone, sketchy as the internet is here. I have an email from my bank, and … woah. That's not what I was expecting. There's a deposit for two million dollars into my account, with a personal message:
Sorry it took me this long.
Good luck.
Call me soon.
Love,
Mom.
I beam at my phone. Thanks, Mom. This money is coming at the perfect time. With it, James and I can come back here for another building trip. We can expand our original plans and the amount of houses we were going to build. The progress will still be slow, but it will be full of good help. Screw sleeping, I'm going to tell James.
When I turn and see him, he takes my breath away. The sheet is draped across his legs, and the rising sun is striking the muscles in his stomach. He is the world's most perfect painting. Except for the enormous morning wood sticking up from beneath the sheets. I know his favorite way to wake up. I slide onto the bed and duck my head under the sheet, coming face to face with his cock. I don't think I'd ever considered a cock gorgeous before I met James, but it is.
I open my mouth and take him in, diving down to take him all the way into the back of my throat. He shifts on the bed and I know I've gotten his attention. I hold my mouth down on him as long as I can before coming up for a breath and teasing his tip with my tongue.
James groans, "You're going to kill me, after last night."
I lick along him, grazing him with my teeth just to feel him jump. "What?" I say in mock horror, "You're not man enough to take me again?"
He starts to say something but I take him deep into my throat again and whatever he was going to say is lost in one long groan. He pulls me off his cock and flips me over, his eyes fiery and fully awake. "You question my manhood?" he says, matching my mocking tone. "If that's the case, I think it's time for something we've been saving. We're in Peru. It's time for firsts."
I give him a look. "What are you talking about?" It's hard to imagine there's something he hasn't done to me.
He leans down and takes a nipple in his mouth, playing with me before answering. "I'm going to fuck that sweet ass of yours."