Sex for Beginners Box Set(30)

She put her head down on her knees. And the loneliest.

Outside the peacock emitted its high-pitched call. She was struck again by how similar it was to a person screeching, Help! Help!

Help was right. She longed to go to Chev, to escape in his arms tonight, but she didn’t dare invest any more in a man who would be leaving in a few days. She couldn’t afford to lose any more of herself.





19




GEMMA EXPECTED it to be a sleepless night, and she was right. Knowing that Jason and Sue were involved was like getting divorced all over again. The peacock, as if sensing her mood, wailed plaintively most of the night, keeping her company. She cried until she was sick for the wasted years with Jason, then lay awake dry-eyed as the sun came up and light crept across the room. The peacock had grown either tired or philosophical, since its cries also quieted at daybreak.

She didn’t feel like going to the museum and she knew she was wearing her distress on her face, but she needed something to occupy her time. And frankly, she was once again in the situation of needing the money. So she showered, gulped down a cup of coffee and carefully applied makeup to hide the plum-colored circles under her eyes. Then she dressed in a fitted short black sheath and black pumps—demure compared to her other costumes.

As she made up her bed, she listened to the work site next door come alive with vehicles arriving, supplies being moved, and equipment starting. She would miss it, she decided, the comforting noises of the bustling activity. And she would miss Chev.

The doorbell rang and her spirits lifted instantly at the prospect of seeing him. She hurried down the stairs and swung open the door, but at the sight of Sue standing on the threshold, she balked. “What are you doing here?”

Sue had been crying, too, her dark eyes red rimmed. “Please…just hear me out.”

Gemma didn’t say anything, but stepped aside to allow her entry. Sue was taller, curvier, with flaming red hair that was always cut in the latest style. She swept by Gemma, then turned with a pained look on her face after the door was closed. “Can we sit down?”

Gemma nodded and waited for Sue to sit, then lowered herself in the opposite chair.

Sue’s chest rose with a deep breath. “Gemma, I know you’re hurting, and I’m sorry. I have a lot of things to apologize for, but I’m not having an affair with Jason.”

Gemma crossed her arms. “There was a golf towel that was special to Jason, a gift from someone. I saw a picture where you have one that’s identical. And I watched our wedding DVD—the way the two of you were looking at each other.” She stopped, her voice choked.

Sue nodded slowly. “Jason was in love with me back then, but I never felt the same way about him. The golf towel was a gift from him, something he had made for us. When I introduced the two of you, I was hoping his feelings for me would go away. And I think they did…for a while. But I had my reservations about the two of you getting married.”

Gemma swallowed past the lump in her throat. “But why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you that you shouldn’t marry Jason because he was in love with me?” Sue gave a dry laugh. “How would that have gone over? The way you fell for him, so fast, it was like you just needed him so much.”

She had, Gemma conceded miserably. After the terrifying episode at the strip club, she had latched on to Jason for his strength—his feelings for her had been secondary. She had convinced herself that she cared enough for both of them.

“I just couldn’t do that to you,” Sue said with a teary smile. “So I moved to Tallahassee and hoped that Jason would realize what a catch you were.”

“But he never stopped loving you.”

Sue leaned forward. “I know he cares deeply about you, Gemma. He’s told me so many times.”

“But at the prospect of moving to Tallahassee, where he knew he’d be crossing paths with you, he couldn’t take it anymore and asked me for a divorce.”

Sue hesitated, then nodded. “I told him it was pointless, Gemma, but he did it anyway. He hated to hurt you, and didn’t tell you why because he knew it would only hurt you more.”

Gemma nodded. The divorce had devastated her, but knowing that he was in love with her best friend would have broken her. “You must have made it clear that you weren’t going to marry him after all. Because he came back two nights ago, asking me to forgive him and to give our marriage another try.”

Sue’s mouth tightened. “I thought he might. What did you say?”

“I considered it,” Gemma admitted. “But in the end, I couldn’t do it.”

A relieved smile lifted the corners of Sue’s mouth. She leaned forward and grasped Gemma’s hands. “I’m so glad. Jason is a great guy, but you deserve someone who adores you.”

“That’s why you kept encouraging me to have a fling, to get on with my life,” Gemma murmured.

“It helped, didn’t it?”

She laughed. “Yes. It did.”

Sue squeezed Gemma’s hands. “And how do you feel about this guy Chev?”

Gemma sighed and glanced in the direction of the Spanish house. From this angle she could see a portion of the pool, covered with a large blue tarp. “He’s…fantastic. Sexy, intelligent, warm…sexy.” They both laughed. “I think it could be special…but he’s leaving in a couple of weeks, as soon as the house is renovated and auctioned off.”

“Maybe he would consider staying.”

Gemma shook her head. “The auction date is already set. And I don’t think I’m ready to make that kind of commitment anyway. I jumped into a relationship with Jason. I don’t want to do that again.”

“Smart,” Sue said, standing. “But you’re older, and wiser. You know your own mind—and body—much better. Trust your instincts. You’ll know if it’s worth the risk.”

“How about you?” Gemma asked. “When are you going to get someone special in your life?”

“Still looking,” Sue quipped. “And always hopeful. If I could go back, I’d take that Sexual Psyche class with you in college. Maybe it would’ve helped me figure out a few things about myself.”

“It helped me,” Gemma admitted, then smiled a secret smile.

They embraced and Sue walked to her car after extracting promises to call. While Gemma stood at the top of the steps, waving, the peacock waddled up to the bottom of the steps and unfurled his tail in a spectacular iridescent fan. The morning sun reflected a thousand brilliant colors in his magnificent plumage, shimmering against the dew-laden grass. The sight of him took her breath away, and in that moment, Gemma felt blessed.

Sue rolled down the window, her expression wondrous. “Looks like you have a pet.”

Gemma laughed. “Since I can’t seem to get rid of him, I might have to keep him.”

Sue waved and drove away. Gemma looked down at the blue bird, who angled his head at her. “Looks like it’s just me and you.”

Her gaze wandered to the site next door, but she didn’t see Chev among the workers. He would be busy today, putting finishing touches inside and out to get ready for his family’s visit that evening.

There was that funny feeling in her stomach again…the “missing him” sensation. If only…

She glanced at her watch and gasped when she realized she was going to be late for work. She grabbed her coat and purse and backed out of the garage without incident—the peacock had found something to eat at the base of one of her trees.

On the way to the museum, she realized that she was actually humming, that she felt better than she would’ve imagined possible a few weeks ago. When she arrived at the museum, she looked for Lillian to thank her for covering for her the previous day. She found her in the ladies’ lounge, adjusting the back seams on her sheer black stockings.

“How did women deal with these seams?” she asked, exasperated.

Gemma laughed. “They were just happy to have panty hose back then, I think.”

Lillian narrowed her eyes with good humor. “You seem to have recovered well. What’s with the good mood?”

“I didn’t realize I was so morose,” Gemma said dryly.

“Not morose, just…. injured.”

“I guess that’s true,” she murmured.

Lillian angled her head. “But you’re better?”

Gemma did a gut check and was happy to find her heart at peace with the past. “Yes.”

“And that lovely dark-haired man friend of yours, does he figure into it?”

“How did you know about him?”

Lillian waved her off. “That’s not important. Do you love this guy?”

Gemma blinked. “Our relationship is just…physical.”

“The importance of which is never to be underestimated,” the older woman said. “But does your soul smile when he walks into the room?”

“I…I don’t know. He makes me happy.”

“Good. I’m glad I could see you happy before I leave.”

Gemma frowned. “You’re leaving?”

“They announced the exhibit will end in a couple of weeks, so I’m moving on to another temp job.”

“The woman at my employment agency told me this could lead to another job in the museum.”