I rummage through my jumbled mind and try to calculate the days. “I’m due for it this week.”
The nurse gives me a comforting smile. “I’d say you’re around three or four weeks along then.”
I’m pregnant.
Pregnant with Brisban’s child.
How can I be happy about this miracle when I know he doesn’t want any more children?
Tears fill my eyes and I begin to sob.
“It’s okay. I know it’s a lot to take in.”
The nurse tries to console me but I’m too conflicted to calm down.
“The gentleman here with you is asking about you. Would you like to see him?”
I shake my head back and forth. “No, not right now. Please just tell him I’m sleeping.”
I can’t face him yet. I ask for my purse and pull out my cell phone to call Janette. A soon as I tell her what happened and the news, she immediately drops everything to come to the hospital.
“We have to tell him something. He’s confused as to why you haven’t asked to see him yet. You can’t avoid him forever, Candace. He’s worried sick about you.”
Tears continue to fall down my cheeks. “How can I tell him I’m pregnant? He just told me he doesn’t want more children. My God, he’s still waiting on DNA results about his dead daughter. How do I even begin to tell him this news? I can’t look at him and lie about it, either.”
“I love you. You know how much I love you so I’m going to be honest here. You need to put your big girl panties on and tell the man the truth. As hard as it may be, you are pregnant with his child; a child you have prayed for as long as I’ve known you. This may not be the best circumstances, but it is what it is, and you have to do the right thing and tell him. You have to prepare for the worst and hope for the fucking best. If that man doesn’t want to be a father to this baby then so be it; be a single mother. Women all over the world do it every damn day. Either way, it’s a miracle and you should be able to be happy about it with or without him.” She puts her hands up in the air. “I’ve said my piece and that’s all I’ll say.”
She’s right and I know she is.
“They said I can go anytime. I don’t want to tell him here at the hospital. I want to go home.”
I get up and get dressed. Janette goes out to explain to Brisban that I’m being released. When I come out into the waiting area he jumps up and rushes over to me.
“I’ve been so worried.”
I drop my head and avoid eye contact with him. “I’m sorry. I was just really tired.”
He places his hand on my lower back. “It’s okay. Let me help you out to the car.”
“No, Janette is going to drive me home. You don’t have to stay out with me. It’s late.”
He looks at me clearly confused. “It doesn’t matter what time of night it is. It’s no trouble at all. But if you’d rather me go, I will.” The creases around his eyes darken and I feel awful for pushing him away.
“I don’t want you to go. I’m just exhausted from everything and I know I’m just going to pass out once I get home. I’d hate for you to come over for me to just fall asleep.”
He moves in front of me and puts both hands on my shoulders and looks down at me. “It’s not any trouble. I want to be with you, regardless if your resting or not. I can run home and grab an overnight bag and be there in under an hour.” He turns to Janette, “Can you stay with her until I get there?”
She nods and gives me a shit-eating grin, “Yep, I’ll get her home and into bed. I’ll head back to the shop when you get there.”
He kisses me on the cheek. “See you shortly.”
Janette and I slowly make our way to her car. Once inside Janette starts in on me. “Damn, C! That man is doting on you like a lovesick puppy dog. I’ve never seen anything like it in real life. He’s like some hot guy in one of those chick flicks. You’re living what most women would kill for. I know you’re nervous about telling him, on top of being scared shitless to find out you’re going to be a mom, but my God…he’s in that deep, all-consuming kind of love with you. He doesn’t even try to hide it either. He might as well be wearing a huge flashing sign that reads I’m in love with and pussy whipped by Candace Greene.”
My mouth drops open and I gape at her. “You’re not helping this situation in the least right now. Will you please stop being such a jokester and see how serious this really is for me?”
She goes silent and puts the car into drive.
“I just wish you could understand how daunting this is for me. Not to mention I’ve wanted to be pregnant so badly for so many years and I’d accepted the fact that I’d never be a mother. I made peace with it. Now, here I am, gifted with this miracle, but it’s out of wedlock and with a man I, in all honesty, barely know. It’s just… scary.”