I let out a sigh. “I’m editing Dawn's story about your life together. I know everything.”
He stares at me, dumbfounded, as it hits him what that means. I know it all. Every intimate detail of his life with his wife and daughter are at home on my laptop.
“I have to go,” is all he says before turning to go down the stairs.
I walk over to the window and pull the drapes to the side a bit. I see him guiding Dawn down the outside walkway. His hand is on the small of her back and they fit together perfectly. Even more so, their pain fits together perfectly—two lost souls grieving for their child. A child, the piece of their family puzzle that’s forever lost to them, yet linking them for eternity.
I LOCK THE DOOR TO his condo and drop the key in his mail box with a note I wrote on a piece of paper from my purse.
Brisban,
Here’s your key. Thank you for trusting me with it, even if for only a moment. Please let me have some time to think and take time for yourself with all you have to deal with. I’ll miss you. Please know how very much I appreciate you and all our times together. You’re a special man with a generous heart. You’ve touched my life in a way I never expected. I’m forever grateful for that.
C—
Feelings of despair rest heavily upon my shoulders as I walk to my car. My cell phone buzzes and I pull it from my purse. It’s Janette.
Janette: How did it go? Or are you still there? The coat was a hit wasn’t it?
Me: Can I come over?
Janette: Now? Yes, why? What happened?
Me: Tell you when I get there. I just don’t want to go home right now. I'll need clothes when I get there.
Janette: K
I get in my car and drive in silence to Janette’s house. I can’t get the awful look on Dawn’s face out of my head. Then the way Brisban looked at me before he left; that look will be burned into my mind for a long time. What a disaster on so many levels.
Rain drops begin to fall and I almost laugh at the irony. A sad night and sad weather go together well. As I pull into Janette’s driveway it feels a little easier to breathe. She comes out onto her porch and I cut my lights and engine. I don’t even bother trying to shield myself from the rain. By the time I get to her porch I’m soaked.
“God, you look like hell. Get in here.” She opens the door and puts her arm around me as we go inside, the door springing shut behind us. “I laid clothes out in the bathroom for you. It’s just sweats and a t-shirt. They’re the most normal thing I have.”
I give her a half smile. “Okay, I’ll be right back.”
“I’ll put on some hot tea. I’m sure you’re freezing after getting drenched.”
I go inside the bathroom and take off the damned trench coat. It crumples to the floor at my feet. I almost feel like stomping on it; looking at it represents my naive stupidity. Who do I think I am, anyway? For the love of God, what was I ever thinking? I pull on the pink sweat pants and cinch the drawstring before tying it. The shirt she left me is far from normal. It has rapper Lil Wayne’s mug shot and says Free Weezy. I shake my head and put it on anyway. Never did I think I’d see the day I wore a mug shot on my chest. I turn toward the mirror and see how terrible look. She’s right—I look like hell. I sigh and tuck the damp strands of hair behind my ears and pick up the coat. The smell of tea brewing fills the air and when I get back in the living room Janette is sitting Indian style on the sofa waiting for me.
“Okay, come and sit. Tell me what happened.”
I drop down onto the sofa next to her. I don’t even know where to begin.
“You’re never going to believe everything that happened tonight. It was bad… then bad again… then wonderful and amazing, then tragic. Just thinking about it exhausts me.” I lean my head back and turn toward her. “Everything is so messed up. I went to his condo and James showed up—he followed me and then—”
“What? He did fucking what?” Janette said, interrupting me. “Oh hell. Please tell me he didn’t ruin things with Mister Sex-on-a-Stick.”
I close my eyes and sigh. “I wish that was all that happened.”
“What then? Spit it out. You’re killing me here.”
I sit upright and look at her, trying not to cry because that’s all I feel like doing.
“James left. It wasn’t that huge of a deal. Brisban and I had an intense night—the sex was incredible, as always, but tonight things changed and then changed some more. He gave me a key to his place and told me he has feelings for me. From there things went from amazing and confusing to a disaster.”
The tea pot whistled loudly, and she hops up. “Just a minute. Hold that thought.” Soon she returns with two cups of tea and I start again. I give her all the awful details. Her face goes from shock to sadness to more shock. Even Janette is rendered speechless by my tale which sounds more like fiction rather than real life.