I nearly want to cry reading this, it’s so beautiful. Reading about such a happy couple makes me incredibly sad. I wanted that life with James more than anything in this world, a lost dream now; gone and never to be had. Not taking James back was hard, but the right thing for me to do. I have no idea what I’m doing having this gratuitous relationship with Brisban and, to be perfectly honest, I don’t want to figure it out. I’m tired of thinking and worrying.
I just want to be for a while. Just be. I want to enjoy simple pleasures and feel like a woman. I refuse to feel guilty for wanting, or needing, those things in my life. Tonight I’m having dinner with a sexy, beautiful man and he’s going to fuck me nine ways to Sunday. I’m not going to feel bad about that. Not at all.
I chose a simple, white scoop-neck top and black skirt for dinner. The top shows off my cleavage and the skirt is fitted to accent my curves. Not wearing panties is new for me. I can’t actually believe I’m going without them. It makes me feel bad and I never knew how much I’d enjoy feeling like a ‘bad girl.’ To give my outfit even more sex appeal, I’m wearing a pair of red heels. He likes my hair down so down it is.
Even though we aren’t calling this a date it feels like one. He’s not picking me up because we still haven’t made the step to invite each other to our homes. I’m meeting him at the restaurant in an hour which means I need to leave in thirty minutes. I’m nervous as usual. I wonder how long this nervous thing is going to last. I feel like a teenager every time I get ready to meet him.
Pulling into the parking lot of The Black Thai, I take a deep breath. My palms are even a little sweaty. This is ridiculous that I react this way. Pull your shit together, Candace. The valet immediately greets me and I put the car in park, get out, and hand my key to the nice valet boy. I barely glance up and I see him.
He’s standing at the entrance in a suit of perfection. No tie, just an incredible suit jacket and pants with a pastel pink v-neck shirt underneath. I love that the man wears pink. I could die right here and now at the sight of him. A smile stretches across his perfectly chiseled face, revealing teeth that couldn’t possibly get any whiter. When he smiles his entire face smiles and the little crinkle he gets on the bridge of his nose is so adorably sexy. His eyes travel from my face down to my feet slowly. I start to close the distance between us and instantly feel flushed. His eyes make their way back to mine and our gazes intertwine. He says so much without ever saying a single word. Standing right in front of him, the energy flowing between us is undeniable. He reaches out to me.
“May I?” he asks.
I give him my hand and he pulls it to his lips, leaning in to place a soft kiss on top of it. His slight scruff brushes my skin as his lips press down and then away. The skin on that one spot of my hand ignites, sending heat throughout my body. He leans in and whispers ever so quietly, “You’re stunning as always. Every man here will wish they were me. Thank you for having dinner with me tonight.” He kisses my neck just below my earlobe before pulling away.
Butterflies swarm in my stomach and I hide the reaction. I flick my eyes up to meet his. “Thank you for inviting me and you look very handsome yourself.”
Cool, calm, and collected, that’s me. I almost want to laugh at myself. If only he knew I was losing my shit on the inside.
“Shall we?” he motions toward the entryway of the restaurant.
“Yes, of course. Thank you.”
He places his large hand at the small of my back. The slight touch is reverent and makes this feel so much like a date. There are times I wish he wasn’t such a gentleman; it confuses my intentions. But, my God, I love how he treats me with his chivalrous ways. It’s such a rarity these days for a man to act in this manner.
The hostess greets us and it’s immediately obvious they know him here.
“Mr. Calloway, right this way,” the lady says, motioning toward the back of the restaurant. “We have your favorite table ready for you and your guest.”
He nods. “Thank you, April.” I can’t believe he wanted to have dinner with his fuck buddy at a place he frequents.
Once we approach the table he, of course, moves to pull my chair out for me. I tilt my head to look up at him and smile. “Thank you.”
His lips curl slightly at the edges. “It’s all my pleasure,” he tells me, just as his hand brushes against my shoulder. He does these subtle things on purpose - it drives me wild and he knows it. The hostess places our menus on the table.
“Shall I get you a bottle of wine, sir?”
“I’ll have my usual and she’ll have your best red wine.” She nods and steps away. He leans down and whisper quiet says in my ear, “Are you wearing panties, Candace? Please tell me you’re bare under that skirt.”