My breathing is no longer under my control. I’m completely turned on and I’m pretty certain my panties are wet.
“I’ll pay the bill. We’ll take a cab to the hotel where I’ll fuck your body, just like I’ve fucked your mind all night.”
Dinner has never sounded so good in my whole life. Suddenly, I’m starving.
“So please, tell me, exactly, how dinner might complicate our sexual arrangement?”
I don’t even hesitate. Fuck it.
“What time should I be there and where?”
“JANETTE, I SWEAR TO GOD, I’ve never been so turned on by a phone conversation in my life. I can’t even explain it properly. It was…he’s…good grief, I don’t know. He just exudes sex.”
Janette pops another almond in her mouth. She’s perched on my kitchen counter, cross legged, listening to me go on and on about Brisban and my phonegasm.
“Man, you hit the cock jackpot, C. I’m a little jealous. I need some good dick in my life. These asswipes I’ve been with lately are amateurs. I guess older men might just be where it’s at. You still haven’t told me how big though. How big is he?” She holds out her hands about a foot apart and laughs. I burst out laughing, too.
“Do you think I’d be walking straight if he had a dick that big?”
She closes the distance between her hands a tad and raises a brow, a quirky grin on her face. I walk over and move her hands in just so and say, “There, that big.”
She makes an “O” with her mouth and I give her a little curtsy in the center of the kitchen floor. We both break out into giggles.
“Okay, so he has length. What about girth?”
I give her a mischievous grin. “Fingers won’t touch, that’s all I’m saying.”
“You lucky bitch. He’s packing and eats pussy like it’s his job. What’s that website again?”
“Sex Unlimited dot com but you have men falling all over you, Janette. You don’t need a website.”
She hops off the counter and grabs another handful of almonds from the bag.
“True, true, but none of them are what you have. I want a Brisban.”
She sashays into the living room as I roll my eyes and follow behind her. Dropping down onto the sofa she pats the space beside her. “Sit. Let’s talk serious now. Have you talked to James again?”
James. I don’t want to think about him, much less talk about him.
“No.”
“Well, what are you going to do about him? I know how you are, C, and it’s eating away at you. He’s always had this odd sense of power over you. I know him coming around like this is really fucking you up.”
I lean my head back on the sofa cushion and let out an exasperated sigh.
“I know and you’re right. It’s making me crazy. I put up this bitch front to his face but as soon as he’s gone my heart aches and I’m mourning us all over again. I’m reliving the divorce again. Seeing him hurts because, deep down, I don’t think I’ll ever not love him and it pisses me off. I don’t want to love him, Janette. I don’t want to feel anything for him at all.”
My eyes fill with tears and I realize I’m holding my breath. Janette leans over and puts her arm around me.
“Oh honey, don’t cry. You know how I feel about crying. I have to cry if anyone around me cries and I’ve got my new lashes on this morning.”
That makes me laugh and she knew it would.
“And it’s all about you right, Janette? We can’t have you messing up your lashes.” We laugh-cry and she hugs me.
“I love you,” I sniffle.
“I love you, too.”
“What am I going to do about James?”
“I don’t know, C, but you can’t let him come ripping back into your life like this, ruining all you’ve worked for over the past year. Don’t give him the slightest inclination you want him back. Unless you do?”
She pulls back and looks at me, unsure as I shake my head. “No, I can’t. I can’t ever forgive him for what he did. I doubt I ever will and a relationship can’t work with a wound that’s never going to heal.”
I lean forward and wipe my eyes. Dropping my head into my hands I laugh.
“How is this my life? Within the span of a few weeks, my life has gone from organized, predictable, and boring, to pure insanity. This must be an early mid-life crisis.”
The doorbell rings, startling me.
“Oh god, please don’t tell me he’s here again,” I groan and Janette catapults up off the sofa.
“I’ve got this shit. You stay right here.”
Oh hell.
“Janette, don’t go apeshit on him if it’s, in fact, him. Next thing I know he’ll be arresting you.”