Sex Says(39)

Cam did his best to break the ice. “So, uh, Reed. Where are you working now?”

It was actually comical how much of a staple this very conversation had become of our family dinners. I changed jobs often, and at some point over the years, the discussion had finally morphed from When are you going to settle on something? to Tell us about what you’re doing now.

“Well, actually, I just got done with that three-week stint on the Golden Gate Bridge. It was absolutely incredible. The views from the top are unlike anything I have ever seen. The fog doesn’t even seem real.”

Their faces all said cool, but their silence said they couldn’t relate. And I truly got it. I’d imagined what it would be like so many times over the years, but even that hadn’t ever come close to what it was actually like.

“So what are you doing now?” my dad asked as he shoveled the first bite of steaming lasagna into his mouth. My mom still stood, scooping out pieces onto each of our plates individually. I was pretty sure it wasn’t as much about serving us as making sure I only took my share.

“I’m going to be writing a column for the San Fran Journal.”

“Seriously?” Cam asked at the same time Laura exclaimed, “How cool!”

Of course. The column in the paper got their attention, but working at the very top of one of the tallest bridges in the country was no big deal. I nearly shook my head.

“What’s the column about?” my mom asked, the patient one of the group.

“Dating, relationships, and sex.”

My dad choked, sputtering and coughing and banging on his own chest.

“Oh, my God! Jimmy!” my mom yelled, panicked.

Cam jumped to his feet, the first-responder instinct strong within him. He moved around the table swiftly and wrapped his arms around my dad, prepared to Heimlich, but my dad swatted him away.

“I’m fine, I’m fine! Jesus.”

“Well, don’t scare us like that!” my mom reprimanded, like he’d choked on purpose just to garner some attention.

My dad ignored her. “What in the Sam Hill do you know about dating and relationships?”

“Pretty sure he doesn’t know about sex either,” Cam muttered under his breath, obviously still distressed by my earlier betrayal.

“Honestly, I only know my own experience and my observation of the world around me,” I admitted, and feelings of being in over my head washed over me. I really didn’t know what I was doing. All I knew was that reading Lola’s column was easy, and refuting it was even easier. Something about the two of us together, even when we were on rival teams, seemed right.

“Then why the hell did they give you the job?” my dad asked.

“Actually, it’s an opposing column to one that already exists at the Times.”

“Sex Says,” Laura shouted. “Oh my God, I love that column.”

I rolled my eyes. Of course she did.

“I’d never heard of it until a few weeks ago,” I admitted. “Anyway, I made a video about it, and apparently, a lot of people caught wind.”

I shrugged. Done with my explanation, I went back to my lasagna, but I looked up again when I heard no sounds. No talking and not the reverberations of a family scarfing down their meal.

When my eyes finally met Laura’s, she glanced to my dad and my mom before stating, “We’re going to need to see that video.”

I rolled my eyes. “Laura—”

“We’re just gonna watch it when you leave if we don’t watch it now,” my dad said. “I don’t know much about finding videos on the internet—”

My mom scoffed, and a mental image of my dad surfing for porn jumped unwelcome into my mind.

“Fine,” I interjected, before my brain could fully develop the idea of my dad one-handing it at the dinner table.

“I have my laptop with me!” Laura shouted as she jumped up from the table and ran, well, wobbled at a quick pace, for the other room.

She came back with it nearly instantly and shoved my plate to the side before I could even lay my fork down. “Here.”

I reached around her to put my fork on the plate and pulled up the browser to head to YouTube. The rest of the family pushed back in their chairs and rounded the table to stand behind me.

“It’s going to be out of context if you don’t read her column first,” I warned.

“I read it,” Laura said. “I read all of them.”

Of course she did.

“And we can look it up after if we need to,” Cam added.

I found my page and clicked play on the video. Immediately, my mom’s eyes went to the laundry. “What’s all over your shirt?”

“I’d just gotten done working down at the wharf.”