Sex Retreat(23)

Jerking her hands forward and back, she buried her head in his chest and sobbed. “I want you to tell me you were guilty.” Her fists jabbed against his rock-hard chest. “I want to hear you say it. We were all guilty.” She cried harder. “Oh my God. Why didn’t I see this before now? We were all to blame.”

Rory stepped behind her. He stroked her back and gently said, “Maybe you’re right, Trixie. Jordie Anne went nuts because of her drug addiction, but perhaps we all pushed her over the edge when we fell in love with you.”

Brock stilled under her grip but he didn’t admit guilt. Trixie stared into his dark eyes. Her words had hurt him. Perhaps her accusation had detrimentally changed the man she loved.

Without a doubt, Brock Sheldon now realized he carried some of the burden. He couldn’t hide from the truth any longer.

Brock was responsible. He was as much to blame for Jordie Anne’s addiction as Mitch or anyone else. He’d been there when she’d been introduced to their party drug. He’d watched her develop her addiction and nurture her habit. Then, he’d looked the other way as if he had nothing to do with her drug addiction.

Sure, they were young. Sure, they were in the experimentation phase but he and the others had walked away unscathed. Shouldn’t he have carried some guilt?

Trixie wanted him to acknowledge his role and she realized why it was so important to her. Brock and Rory were the only two people standing in the way of her reunion     with Mitch. And if they weren’t so stubborn and judgmental, Mitch would be there with them now.

“I want you to start at the beginning,” she said slowly. “Tell me the whole story. I want to know where Mitch is now.”

“Trixie…”

“Tell me!” she screamed, backing away from him.

Brock dragged his fingers through his short hair and said, “We’ll talk about this in the morning.”

“We’ll discuss it now, Brock.”

He turned off the light in the hallway. “Come to bed, Trixie. We’ll sort this out tomorrow. Tonight, you’ll sleep between the men who are committed to you. Maybe while you’re drifting off to sleep, you’ll think of the life we’ve built together, the love we’ve shared, and maybe somewhere between nodding off tonight and rising in the morning, you’ll realize Rory and I only wanted to protect you.”

“Mitch wouldn’t hurt me.”

“His lifestyle is different than ours,” Rory reminded her. “Drastically different.”

“So you’re justifying why it’s okay to shut him out?” she asked, turning on Rory.

“No, I’m providing you with a legitimate reason to think long and hard about what you want to say when you and Mitch are face-to-face again.”

“Please don’t do this,” she said, stopping Rory before he passed her. “Please tell me about your conversation with him.”

“I’m sorry, Trixie, but I’m with Brock. You need to calm down. We’ll revisit the Mitch subject tomorrow.” Rory waited for her by the door. “We want you happy, Trixie, and if Mitch will make you happier than Brock and I have, then by all means, you should explore the possibility of adding Mitch in the mix.” He walked to her then and framed her face. “But I want you to consider his dark side, too, Trixie. Remember the part of him you never could quite reach? Trix, honey, you’ll never break through those walls now.

“Mitch is a hard-core Dom who will only let you get so close before he shoves, not pushes, but shoves you away.”

“I can handle Mitch,” she said, her heart striking an extra beat, an additional palpitation she was convinced only existed because of future possibilities. Mitch’s reentry into their lives represented a possible induction into a lifestyle she’d long since desired.

She loved Mitch. Her strong feelings and compassion for him were reasons enough to want him in her life, but she also craved what he could give her sexually. He would offer her unadulterated passion, a level of intimacy Brock and Rory had refused to give her. Even though Brock and Mitch had once introduced her to a taste of submission, Brock later dismissed the idea of Domination and submission.

Had he thought she was too fragile? Had he feared she wouldn’t embrace the lifestyle like he once had?

Trixie didn’t possess all the answers, but she held on to what she knew with absolute certainty. Mitch would insist on her submissiveness. Anything less would be unacceptable.

She shivered as her husbands’ voices faded in and out. Mitch represented an element of excitement and adventure. What woman would ignore what he promised to bring to an already thriving relationship?