“I made a big mistake that hurt my family,” she often said, “but I never would change it. I ruined my family. I'm hurting those I love.”
Amber and Angie both knew that Mary Kay meant every word she uttered. There was no fix for the mess—not when she felt so strongly that her love with the boy was worth it all. The love with the boy was forever.
Audrey Lokelani was more than the daughter of Mary Kay Letourneau and Vili Fualaau. The baby with the dark eyes and black hair was also a sibling to Mary's four children by Steve. The adults on both the Schmitz and Letourneau sides did whatever they could to ensure that whatever impact this new baby would have on its mother, it would not ruin the lives of the four already born.
All were in apparent agreement with the strategy, which included not talking about it and, heaven forbid, not promoting the fact that there was a new sibling back at their olive-green house in Normandy Park.
“Mary Kay's sister Liz was very upset when they found a picture of Audrey that Mary Kay had sent back East for Mary Claire's birthday. Her sister was very unhappy. 'I should have screened it. I should have made sure that something like that never got through.' ”
But Audrey was Mary Claire's sister and she knew it. True sisterhood would take time, and who knew what words were said to make the kids feel differently, but a closeness would happen. Yet on the day of her great-granddaughter's birthday even Nadine had to admit later: “Mary Claire was happy because she had a baby sister.”
And back in the house in Normandy Park, in the bathroom where the family of six all used to converge in morning and evening chaos, Mary Kay, Vili, and Audrey posed in front of the mirror and took a photograph. The flash burned a bright hole in the center of the image, leaving only the tops of their heads to their eyes.
“We didn't know it then,” Mary Kay later said, “but it was the only family portrait we'd ever take.”
Chapter 49
ONE DAY INTO the summer when Angie and Amber were over helping Mary Kay take care of Audrey at the Normandy Park house, she stopped referring to the baby's father as “the boy.”
“I guess I can tell you his name. Promise not to say anything to anyone?”
They agreed.
“Vili,” she said.
“Billy?” one of the girls asked.
“No. Vili with a V.”
She retrieved some pictures from another room and showed them to the sisters. They had done this with Mary Kay before; in fact, the girls considered it something that Mary Kay loved to do. She was forever looking at her children's pictures and remarking on their physical features and whose side of the family was represented in their noses, mouths, hands, eyes.
She pulled out a picture of Vili standing next to Steven and Mary Claire by the swing.
“This is really bad,” she said, as if apologizing. “He's a lot older-looking now.”
Angie studied the photo. The boy was taller than Steven was, but not by much. When she heard he was Samoan, both she and her sister thought he was going to be some monster of a guy—six-feet-four and 240 pounds. But he wasn't a linebacker type at all. At five feet two inches, he was lanky and gawky—and four inches shorter than Mary Kay.
He was just a boy. The way she had described him, he was really big for his age.
Mary Kay went on to tell the sisters about how she had wanted to get him into Cornish, a Seattle school for the arts. He interviewed and showed his portfolio there the summer she became pregnant. He was so talented and mature for his age.
From the photograph, they couldn't see any of it.
It was also the first time Mary Kay came out and acknowledged the obvious. The baby was Vili's. Although from that first look Amber and Angie knew it wasn't Steve Letourneau's child, they never asked and she never said anything.
She also pulled out some pictures of Soona.
“I can't tell who Audrey looks more like. Do you think she looks like… ?” She studied the photograph and looked at her baby. “She could have gotten this dark hair from my mother,” she said.
And then she suggested something that the girls would never forget. It was so strange. Mary Kay wondered out loud if Audrey could have picked up her dark hair from Steve's mother, Sharon.
The girls thought that Mary Kay was “totally out there.”
Steve's mother? What would she have to do with this baby?
Mary Kay could be glib and laugh at the silliness of the media being camped outside her door, while she cradled a fourteen-year-old boy's first daughter. But inwardly, the stress of the situation was taking its toll. Shortly after Audrey was born Mary Kay developed a rash on her face and consulted a dermatologist. Though the rash was barely visible, she was obsessed about it.
“Is it getting better? Is it getting better?” she asked over and over.