“It’s hard to explain. Even though I swore I’d never go back, I’m not out of the woods yet. Every day for the rest of my life, I will crave meth. I’ll want one taste of something better than the last fix I had. Unfortunately, I was a junkie. I was one of the worst of my kind. An endless supply was at my disposal as long as I did whatever Kilo asked of me. In many ways, I should be grateful to Kilo.”
“What?” Grant asked, nearly coming unglued. “That bastard allowed you to keep injecting nothing but pure poison.”
“Yes, you’re right. Still, if he hadn’t supplied me with fresh needles, I would’ve been one of those druggies out on the streets looking for one to share.”
“Oh, Morgan,” Grant rasped.
“I didn’t. I’d be willing to take a blood test. You know, just to be sure I’m clean.”
“We want you to do that, anyway. You don’t know where Kilo’s been,” Blake pointed out.
“We never had unprotected sex.”
“What about oral?” Grant pried.
She shook her head. “I know that’s hard to believe but truth is, Kilo liked to fuck, and he liked to screw a lot. That’s all he wanted to do. He was more or less a control freak and he liked making sex a dirty deed. Oral would’ve suggested he wanted intimacy and he assured me over and over again, he didn’t want a romantic relationship.”
“Was he a Dom?” Grant asked.
“No, he was just a self-serving bastard who would slip on a condom before he came to bed, grab hold of me, and screw me, generally from behind. He said it was too painful to look into my empty eyes. Then, he’d roll over and go to sleep. Generally, after he got off, he’d tell me where to find my fix. The more we fucked, the more he gave me drugs.”
“So basically he wasn’t your boyfriend. He was your drug dealer. You swapped favors.” Grant shook his head. His Adam’s apple twitched as he swallowed. “What a sick motherfucker.”
She shrugged. “I guess you’re right. He wasn’t compassionate, loving, or kind. We didn’t go out. He never wanted me to walk beside him if we left the building together, and he never bought me anything, other than drugs. No, I guess he wasn’t my boyfriend.”
“Morgan, this is a battle you’ll always have,” Grant said. “You can rely on us for now, but you’ll always have the cravings. You just have to learn to be stronger than the temptation to use again.”
“I know. A year or so ago, I went to a few meetings in Memphis. I didn’t want to stay on drugs. I just couldn’t get off them.”
“You may not see it now, but when Kilo kicked you out, it was the best thing that could’ve happened to you,” Blake said.
“I realize that, too,” she agreed. “If he hadn’t asked me to leave, I would’ve stayed right there until I either overdosed or the police busted Kilo.”
“Do you want to talk about anything that happened with Kilo?” Grant asked.
“No,” she replied. A second later, she changed her mind. “Yes.”
“He beat you, didn’t he?” Grant asked.
“Yes. Kilo was very violent.”
Grant’s eyes turned as cold as ice. He looked away from the bed and clenched his fists. “Then I guess it’s time for me to give Mr. Kilo a call. There are a few things I’d like to say to him.”
“No, you can’t.”
“Yes I can, and I will. Where’s your phone?”
“You don’t understand,” Morgan said, grasping at a lost cause. “If you contact him, the only thing you’ll do is provoke him.”
“He should worry about agitating me,” Grant said, steadfast in his pursuit for her cell. “Damn it, Morgan. Where’s your purse?”
She swallowed hard. Her eyes darted to a nearby chair piled high with her clothing.
“Here?” he asked, tossing aside panties, bras, jeans, and shirts. When Grant reached the bottom of her dirty laundry, stark determination marked his face as he fished her phone out of her purse. “From now on, when I ask you a question, you provide an answer or face the punishment.”
“If you call him, he will kill me.”
“Bullshit!” Grant screamed, rushing the bed. Morgan twisted against the ties binding her. He was in her face, pointing his finger within an inch of her nose. She stilled against his fury, understanding he wouldn’t listen now. His anger drove him. Tightly drawn cords pulsed in his neck. “You listen to me, woman, and you listen well.
“You are a precious human being. Regardless of the poor choices you’ve made, Blake and I still love you. That said, whether we loved you or not, you’re our best friends’ sister. You’re a woman. No one has the right to abuse you.”