‘Then how is he useful?’
‘Simple. He never forgets anything.’
A pudgy young man with slicked sandy hair appeared before them. Shaking his hand was like removing wet laundry from a washing machine. His brown suit was expensive but badly cut, so that his trouser bottoms were accordioned over his shoes. It would have been hard to imagine a man less interested in any branch of the arts.
‘Leslie Faraday,’ announced the minister. ‘We met two years ago, didn’t we, Mr Bryant? August seventh, I think it was, nice and sunny but it clouded over in the afternoon. I read about you in the paper last year, cracking secret codes in a multiple-murder case. The Daily Telegraph, wasn’t it? Someone fell out of a window and you were in trouble for hijacking a Porsche. This must be your partner. I wonder if I could possibly have a cup of tea? Brooke Bond will be fine, nice and milky, two sugars if you don’t mind.’
Sweat was beading on Faraday’s pale forehead despite the chill in the room.
‘What can we do for you, Mr Faraday?’ asked Bryant, anxious to short-circuit the minister’s recollections.
‘It’s about this vandalized picture, the Watermark thing. I know it was painted by an Englishman but the Aussies seem to own it now and they’re bloody furious, and not because it was worth a bob or two. To tell the truth, this is a relatively new field for me. I don’t go much for your modern arty-farty types. It’s not painting, it’s exhibitionism. They’re very good at building thirty-foothigh plaster models of their private parts but ask them to paint a decent duck in flight and see where it gets you. The trouble with artists is they’re not businessmen. What’s so awful about giving the public what they want? We don’t all have to like The Beatles.’
May seated himself on a corner of the desk and watched, fascinated, as Faraday dabbed at his leaking brow with a handkerchief.
‘The Waterhouse painting,’ prompted Bryant, as the tea arrived.
‘Yes, it seems that there’s rather a lot at stake here,’ explained the minister. ‘Is that tea mine? Nice and hot, jolly good. As you know, the paintings were loaned against the wishes of the Australian government, whose talks concerning the return of aboriginal artefacts from the Museum of Mankind have stalemated. Her Majesty’s Government isn’t prepared to negotiate for their return because a precedent would be set, and we already have our hands full with the Greeks. Certain aboriginal items were placed on display years ago as part of what has become a highly disputed permanent exhibition. Just some old mud masks, nothing to get excited about. I remember seeing them on a school field trip. Rained all day, although it brightened in the evening as I recall. This chap Carreras is bellyaching and threatening to boycott the Common Market conference. Now, I understand that the painting can’t be restored, but the next best thing is to find the culprit as quickly as possible.’
‘We already know who he is,’ said May.
‘You do?’ Faraday grew visibly agitated. ‘Then why on earth hasn’t he been arrested?’
‘I am hopeful that he will be within the next few hours.’
‘This is capital news.’ Faraday slapped his hands together wetly. ‘And you’ll tell me as soon as you discover a motive for this malicious act?’
‘Of course.’
‘Well.’ Faraday set down his teacup and rose. ‘All in all, a good morning’s work. Lunch beckons, I think. Is it me or is it hot in here? I can see myself out.’
‘What an exhausting man,’ said May, closing the door. ‘Why is he so interested in the motive?’
‘He’s hoping for a face-saver. Ideally his vandal would prove to be an Australian national protesting against the English, but I think there’s little chance of that.’ Bryant shifted his chair nearer the window and looked out on to the street below. ‘It’s almost as if Whitstable destroyed the picture because he somehow believes himself to be living within its time frame. His speech was as archaic as his dress. He said he wouldn’t be “gulled.” It’s an obsolete term. He may be mad, but he seemed sincere.’
‘Mad people always are. Have you had a chance to think about the phrase that sounded like a quote?’
‘You mean “nature and the bonds of art.” I’ll have to run a check.’
‘Whitstable hasn’t returned home yet. The house is under surveillance, but so far there’s been no report of any activity. He has a brother, Peter, registered as living in the same house, although we’ve had no sight of him so far. Obviously we’ll interview William if and when he returns. I’d better let you get on with your unpacking.’