‘I’m serving them. There’s a difference. That isn’t what I wanted to talk to you about.’
‘Then what is it?’ Gwen set down her cup and searched her handbag for a cigarette.
‘I want to move out.’
‘Don’t be absurd, darling, you’re not even eighteen yet.’ She tapped out a gold-tipped Sobranie.
‘There’s a flat share going in Maida Vale. I could afford the rent, but there’s a down payment to be made . . .’
Gwen’s attention crystallized. ‘Share? You mean cohabiting? Have you met someone, Geraldine?’
‘No, nothing like that. There’s a guy at work who shares with two others, and one’s moving out.’
‘It’s simply out of the question.’ Gwen spouted a column of blue smoke at the window. ‘You must try to understand that I only want what’s best for you. There’s absolutely no need for you to be stuck in some awful little flat when you have the complete run of the house. It’s not as if we hold you back, or stop you from having friends over.’
‘I want to be independent for a while, surely you can appreciate that.’
‘But why must you be? Why can’t young people accept the help of their parents with good grace? Other girls would be grateful for a helping hand, Geraldine.’
‘I’m not a girl any more, Mother.’ She didn’t want to be given a cozy position in the family business. Lately she’d been thinking about taking a course at an art college. It had been a mistake to inform Gwen of her plans. ‘Look, I wouldn’t need to borrow money after the initial loan. It won’t be a large amount.’
‘That’s not the point, Jerry. You went behind our backs to get this job, and now you want to sever your home ties with us. You know what the doctor said about learning to deal with authority. Interaction with others is difficult for you. Besides, art is not a career for a woman, it’s a hobby. I’d be hard-pressed to name a single successful female artist.’
‘That says more about the system than the artist, and anyway—’
‘So now you’re against the system!’ Gwen shook her head sadly. ‘No, I know these rebellious feelings, and believe me, they only last for a couple of years. I blame all these students marching over Vietnam. Americans are trying to halt the spread of Communism, and they’re getting no thanks for it. You’ll see, soon you’ll want the things we wanted at your age . . .’
‘I’m not like you and Jack. I don’t have the same values. Don’t you see how much things are changing? I don’t even know what I want yet. I’m just trying to figure out what I don’t want.’
‘I suppose you think we’re snobs,’ replied her mother, stung. ‘Well, I really have to put my foot down this time, Geraldine. I couldn’t possibly allow you to leave home yet. I hate to bring this up . . .’ Jerry groaned inwardly, knowing what was coming. ‘After your illness, your father and I knew we had to do something to help you. That’s why we set up the trust in your name. We wanted to help you make a start in life. That trust matures when you are twenty-one, and until then we are empowered to influence your decisions about the future.’
She reached forward and sealed her hands over her daughter’s, pink nails ticking on the tabletop. ‘You know we love you. Darling, it’s for your own good. You’ll see one day that I was right. When you come of age, you’ll be able to choose for yourself. Until then, carry on in this job, if that’s what you want. But think about your father’s offer. Eventually you’ll meet a nice boy. You’ll want to settle down and start thinking about children. It’s only natural. And hopefully by that time you’ll be ready to assume your responsibilities in the business, just a couple of days a week, nothing taxing. You’re lucky that girls are taken seriously in the workforce these days. You can be a mother and still have a nice career.’
‘Like you, you mean.’
At the moment nothing seemed less desirable than following in her parents’ footsteps. She knew there was no point in trying to explain her confusion to Gwen.
‘Anyway, how is the Savoy?’ asked her mother, switching subjects to fill the uncomfortable silence.
‘Someone dropped dead in the foyer on Monday, and the police think it was murder. Apparently the newspapers are suggesting he was a spy.’
‘Why have I not heard about this? Is nowhere safe any more? Did you know there are homeless people sleeping in the Strand? It’s dreadful.’ Gwen checked her watch and rose to leave. ‘I have to go. Stay and finish your coffee, and remember what I said. You can try speaking to your father, but it won’t make any difference. I know he feels the same way I do. Can you believe this weather? I haven’t seen fog like this since the fifties.’