Serving Trouble(50)

“Maybe.”

She closed her eyes. You can do this. You can face anything.

She might be lying to herself. But she didn’t have a choice. She needed to be strong because Noah couldn’t rush in to play the hero this time. She’d found him reduced to tears, his emotions raw when she entered his room. He was in this with her.

With her head still resting against his chest, she wrapped her arm around him and held tight.

I’ll be your anchor if you’ll be mine, because if we send out a pigeon, I don’t think anyone will rush to our rescue.





Chapter Nineteen


HER BROTHER, THE army ranger, had taken two rounds to the chest, penetrating the lungs and hitting a major artery. And a third bullet had shot straight through his hand. Now, machines surrounded him, their beeping oddly familiar.

Three bullet wounds require the same blinking, beeping machines as a premature baby.

Josie followed the lines on the screen tracking her brother’s heartbeats. He’d survived two surgeries to repair the damage to his chest. She glanced at the long tube peeking out from under the hospital bedding. The tube ended in another machine, but it began in his left lung.

She looked up at him. A series of scratches covered one cheek. It looked as if he’d rubbed his face up against a rock. Fresh tears rolled down her cheeks. Her brother had tubes coming out of his chest, his hand was bandaged to the point it was unrecognizable, but the marks on his face brought her to tears.

“I held it together on the plane,” she whispered. “I just sat there and hoped you would be OK. But then I realized that if you survive this, if you’re fine, no permanent damage—­you’ll go back. I know you will.”

Because Dominic had never been afraid. Or if he had been, he’d hidden it well. She’d only seen this desire to take on injustice, to fight for those who couldn’t stand up for themselves. And his drive to be the best of the best. Her brother had his sights set on attending Ranger School from the beginning.

“Oh, Dominic,” she said, raising her voice, hoping he’d hear her. But he hadn’t opened his eyes since she’d arrived at the hospital. The nurse said that was normal given the anesthesia.

Normal.

She’d laughed, the sound brittle and bordering on hysterical. The nurse had left her alone with Dominic, but made sure Josie knew she’d be nearby in case anyone needed her. And she had a feeling the staff thought the recently arrived sister would need them more than the injured soldier.

But they didn’t understand. She’d spent the longest and most precious weeks of her life sitting beside a hospital bed. It had been much smaller—­technically an incubator—­but the machines were the same. Watching the blinking lights on the monitors, waiting, that had become her normal.

And here she was again.

So much had changed. This was Dominic, not Morgan. She wasn’t alone. Her father was asleep in the hotel room the army had arranged for their stay. But still, sitting here, watching someone she loved, a member of her family who owned a part of her heart that would shatter into tiny pieces if he didn’t make it through just like it had when Morgan stopped fighting, she wondered . . .

What am I waiting for? Why am I pushing Noah away when I could be holding him close?

Her gaze remained fixed on her brother, but her mind wandered back to her hometown. To be fair, she had held him very close before they left. But reaching through grief, holding on to the person nearby to feel something, anything other than the fear wound tight to pain, that wasn’t the same.

Watching Dominic’s heartbeat on a computer monitor, she opened her eyes to the fact that she wanted Noah in her life. Yes, she was terrified that she couldn’t handle the heartbreak if he decided to walk away, if he heard the words “I love you” and fled.

“The thing is,” she murmured to her brother, “I think I love him.”

She had run to Noah Tager’s side when she’d needed someone. And this time, she hadn’t been looking for him to step in and save the day. He couldn’t do a damn thing for her brother. He wasn’t a doctor. But he could bear witness to her pain and hold her close.

He’d changed over the past five years. She understood that, possibly better than anyone else in Forever. And she liked who he was now. He still possessed a body she wanted to explore, from his supersized muscles to his . . .

She glanced at her brother. The anesthesia still had a hold on him. But she didn’t want him to wake up while she was thinking about Noah’s abs. No, she needed to focus on his other qualities. The fact that Noah helped his friends when they asked. Sure, he didn’t smile as much. But beneath his defensive scowl, she had a feeling he was still the same guy who’d driven his grandmother to the beach because she loved the feel of sand between her toes.