Serenity Falls(33)

“I want you so bad,” he groans against the swell of my breasts.

My arms wrap around his neck, and I hold him to me as I twist against him harder.

“If you don’t want this to go any further, then we need to stop,” he says in between sensual kisses and sucking.

My mind tells me he’s right, but my body says fuck it. With everything in me, I slow my movements and try to catch my breath. I open my eyes and stare into his. Wild and all-consuming need beams from his eyes causing a fire to ignite in the depths of my stomach. “That’s not what I was expecting when I said thank you,” I mumble breathlessly as I brush my lips against his.

Wes squeezes my hips, returns my kiss, and lifts me a fraction off his waist. “You’re making this harder for me, you know, when you kiss me like that.” His eyes glance down to the bulging, hardness hidden in pants to me.

“Like what?” I ask with a smile, kissing him again.

“I’m serious, Kenleigh. If you keep doing that, I’m not going to be held responsible for my actions.” A groan escapes him as my lips make their way down his neck and then back up.

I peck his lips one last time and lift off him completely. “You’re right. Now, time to eat.” I pick up the beers and untwist the caps. As I hand his over to him, I notice that he’s still trying to regain his composure. “Are you okay?” I have to ask even though by the bulging veins in his neck and the red tint to his skin, I know he’s not. Technically, I’m not okay either. I’m wound as tight as a rubber band, too, but I’m gradually starting to unwind.

He looks at me through the corners of his eyes with his eyebrow arched. Wes clears his throat before answering, “I’ve been better.”

I nod, hoping that he understands I’m on the same level of discomfort as he. “So, is this where you ran off to earlier?”

“Yeah. Look, I know you heard me and Brantley talking earlier.”

“I did, but I want you to know that what he said doesn’t affect me.”

“He has a point, you know,” Wes replies, as he gets up and comes to sit down next to me. He consumes my attention as I watch him take a drink of his beer. I have to focus on something other than the way his throat muscles move as he swallows, because if I don’t, I just might throw my self-control right out the window.

When I think back to what he just said, it kind of pisses me off. “Don’t do that. Don’t downplay yourself with me,” I say, taking a bite of my pork chop. “Oh… my… Wes, this is so good.” I lift the napkin he handed me earlier, wiping the corners of my mouth. “Did you make all this?” I ask.

“I did,” he says, around a mouthful of food. “You like it, really?” The look on his face brings a smile to mine and helps to curb my anger that was beginning to grow. It’s as if he can’t believe that I might actually like something he made.

“Heck yeah I do. Everything tastes delicious.”

“Back to what I was talking about. You should know I live a fast life, Kenleigh. I’m not going to lie to you. I’m not even going to try to deny what he said back in the barn as something false.”

“Maybe you do, but you’re here, now. Do you like your life in Dallas?”

“I used to think I did. Not so much anymore. For the past year now, I’ve slowly started recognizing that I’m on a downward spiral. Like I’m almost at the point of drowning, but somehow I’m still just barely breathing.” He looks away from me like he’s ashamed of himself or like I might judge him.

“Wes? Please, don’t hide from me. I am no one to judge you or your past. But I would like to know what you mean.”

“I took this season off from bull riding. Last year, I got into a lot of trouble. I was drinking all the time. At first, it started out as a social thing, but then it began happening more and more. It eventually got to the point where I would black out. Every morning, I’d wake up, and wouldn’t know what had happened. The worst part was there was always some different woman in bed with me, if I even made it to bed.” When he turns and looks at me, all I see is remorse in his eyes.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” I offer.

He shakes his head. “I need to. I want you to know me just like I want to know you.”

With a nod, I sit patiently and wait for him to continue.

“The last night I really drank anything was the worst. That is when I succumbed to the fact that I really did have a problem. I had just got done riding. There is nothing like being on the back of a bull. It’s a high I just can’t explain.” A wistful smile pulls at his lips. “When you have a two thousand pound, pissed off beast underneath you, and the only thing helping you hold on is a rope, it’s a rush you just can’t get from anything else. No drug on this Earth can give you that feeling. Anyway,” he rakes his fingers through his hair as he sighs before he continues, “that night was the best night of my life. It was the best ride of my life; it was the first time I ever won five million dollars. I’ve won money in previous rides, but never in the millions range.”