Serenity Falls(2)
“I have to. I have to go get your mother.” He leans down to kiss my forehead. “I love you, Kenleigh. Never forget that.” With that last word, he turns away from me and races back toward our house.
I don’t want to believe what I’m thinking, but I could hear it in his voice when he said he loved me. It’s as if he knew it would be the last time he ever said it. Frozen in shock, I watch as his white T-shirt billows around his body from the speed he’s running. The collar of his shirt now covers his nose and his hands wave back and forth in an attempt to clear the smoke from in front of his face. After one last, loving glance at me, he turns and enters a house I’m sure he will never walk out of.
Finally snapping out of my haze, I lurch forward to follow him, but strong arms capture me around my waist to hold me back. “NO, DADDY! DON’T GO! PLEASE! DADDY, PLEASE! COME BACK! LET GO OF ME! LET ME GO!” I scream at the top of my lungs as my body shakes violently from gut-wrenching sobs. My fingers try to pry away the hands from around my waist. Fighting a fight I won’t win, my body goes limp. I stand there, helpless, as seconds turn into minutes, waiting for my parents to emerge from the inferno that is consuming the lake house we vacation at every summer.
The one thing that no one ever thinks will happen is happening to me. Plumes of smoke billow out of the shattered windows as the flames dance across what is left of the roof. Firefighters exhaust all efforts to put out the blaze, but it is no use—I am twelve years old and just watched my parents die.
My aunt finds me on my bed, a picture of my parents clutched tightly to my chest. It’s been five days and the emptiness of my parents loss continues to grow. Stabbing pain shoots through my heart every time I look at the happy family I no longer have. I voice the one question that I don’t want to ask.
“Am I going to have to move?” I ask around the lump that seems to stay in my throat these days. Tears fall like raindrops onto my knees as I wait for my aunt to answer me.
I don’t want to leave my home in Conroe, Texas. It’s the last thing I have left of my parents. So many happy memories live here for me. Thankfully, my Aunt Brenda, my mom’s younger sister by two years, has been staying with me the past few days. Kneeling in front of me, she envelops me in a hug. In a pained whisper, she says, “No, Honey, you’re not going to have to move. We’re going to live right here in your house, and you’ll still get to go to your school. I’m going to be the one taking care of you now, but nothing else will have to change for you.”
As I hug her back, I cry just as hard as I did the night that I watched my parents die.
“I miss them so much.” I’m broken by the pain as loss spears straight through to my heart.
“I know, Baby Girl. I do, too, but we’re going to get through this,” she whispers, wiping back my bangs that seem glued to my tear stained face. I stare back into her sorrow-filled eyes. “We need to go now, though, okay?”
I can’t speak, so I nod instead. I don’t want to go to the funeral home. I don’t want any of this. I want everything to go back to normal. I want my parents back.
My movements are emotionless. I’m numb to the core as tears of sorrow, loss, and longing stream down my face. My lower lip trembles as I stand here and look at the two closed caskets that sit side-by-side. I know they’re never coming back, but I can’t accept it—not yet, anyway.
As I rest a hand on each of their caskets, gruesome images of everything that happened the night of the fire flash before me. If we hadn’t been so far out in the country, maybe the fire trucks could have gotten there sooner. Maybe if more neighbors had been paying attention, there would’ve been more people to keep my mom and dad from going back in that house. Maybe if I had done what Daddy told me, they would still be here—alive.
A soft touch pulls my wandering mind back, and I look up to my grief-stricken aunt who’s gently rubbing my shoulder. I know she’s saying something. I can see her lips moving, but I can’t hear her words. I shake my head, trying not to think of the what-ifs, and catch the tail end of what she’s trying to say. “Kenleigh. Kenleigh, Honey, we have to go now. We have to go to the cemetery.”
Unable to speak, I nod, and as I look back at the caskets, I realize that this will be the last time I will ever see my parents. Slowly, I lean over, place a kiss on each casket, and brokenly whisper, “I’m going to miss you so much. I love you.”
The last of my bags are loaded in the back of the black, Jeep Wrangler Rubicon that used to belong to my mother. I sigh, knowing how much I’m going to miss campus life. I realize it’s only for the summer, but I’ve come to love San Antonio. As I climb into the Jeep, I stare back at what has been my home for the past year. Tucked between large oak and cedar trees that adorn the University of Texas, San Antonio campus, white stucco buildings with red roof tiles give the dorms that old Mexico feel. With my sunglasses shielding my eyes from the bright sun, I start the Jeep, push in the clutch, and shift to reverse. Cameron, Texas, here I come.