My mom asked me as we sat out by the lake in our Adirondack chairs at our summer home, “If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?” Sometimes we have discussions like this. I know my mom wouldn’t trade my dad or me for anything, but I think that she looks back and wishes she had done more with her life.
“Right here, Momma,” I reply with a lazy smile.
“Out of anywhere in the world, this is where you would choose to live?”
“Mmmhmm. I love it here. This is home,” I answer as I look out over the placid lake. There’s not a cloud in the sky. “Why? Do you and Dad wanna move?” I ask skeptically.
“No. No, we’re not moving. Sometimes your dad and I feel bad because we live in such a small town. There aren’t a lot of opportunities for you here.” She shrugs her shoulders as she continues. “Home is wherever you want it to be. It can be a place where you feel safe, loved, and cherished. It’s a place that makes you happy. Whether you decided to live here in Conroe for the rest of your life, or move away to bigger and better things, just remember that home can be anywhere.”
As I gently place the picture frame in the last box, and tape it closed, I whisper, “Momma, I found my home. Now, I just have to hope that my home will want me back.”
My phone rings loudly throughout the empty room. I sigh when I see Aunt Brenda’s name flash on the caller id. I answer on the second ring. “Hello.”
“Hey, Honey,” she chirps.
“Hi.” I know I sound depressed, but damn it, I am, and I’m sure she can detect it in my voice.
“What’s wrong?” Her tone is no longer cheerful, but worried.
“Everything. Wes and I had a huge fight, and he left,” I answer with a broken voice. Tears begin to well up in my eyes as I lay back on my bed.
“Okay. Start from the beginning, and tell me what’s going on?”
I do as she asks. I cry my way through describing to her the most romantic proposal a girl could ever ask for. I tell her about how I told him no, and how he would not let me explain my reasons behind it. Then I explained how he left without another word.
“But you’re back at school, right?”
“Yeah. I’ve been here for two weeks.”
“I thought that was your plan all along, to return to school?”
“It was, but not anymore. I’ve tried calling him again and again, but he doesn’t answer. My life never felt complete until I met him, and now I feel so broken and empty, Aunt Brenda.”
“Listen to me. Calm down, okay? Take a couple of deep breaths and hear me out,” she says slowly. I take a couple of deep breaths as I try to regulate my breathing. “Are you calmed down now?”
“Yes.”
“All right. I’m not sure if you know this or not, but your parents met and married really young. Your mom was eighteen and right out of high school, and your dad was a freshman in college. They met and the next thing your grandparents and I knew, they were married. Honestly, I think they only dated for six months.” She chuckles softly through the phone while I sit here in shock. My mom and dad never went into details about how they met, and I never thought to ask. “Your grandma and grandpa were furious at them, at the situation as a whole. They told your parents they were too young to be married. But I think the real reason they were so pissed was because your parents eloped. Your mom called me from a payphone right before they did it. When she told me what they were doing, I wanted to protest against it. Hell, I mean, I didn’t want to miss my only sister’s wedding, but she didn’t let me get a word in. Your mom went on to tell me that she and your father loved each other, and she knew your grandparents wouldn’t approve.”
“Wow,” I breathe out.
“You didn’t know about any of this?”
“No,” I answer, shaking my head even though I know she can’t see me.
“Well, you do now. But what you need to understand is that the type of love your mom and dad shared is the same type of love you and Wes share. It’s written on your faces, in your body language, just like it was with your parents. If they were alive, they would tell you to go for it. A love, the type of love you and Wes have, isn’t something that comes around very often. If you don’t go after him, you will always wonder, and wonder turns into regret. And Honey, life is too short for regrets.”
She’s right. If my parents could see how much I love Wes, and how much he loves me, they would stand behind my choice to accept his proposal. I thought I wanted to find Wes before, but now, the urge to find him just magnified by ten.