Serenity (Inevitable #5)(78)

"Well, it's obvious that your mother's a pro at this," he commented. "But your father isn't half bad himself."

Sasha smiled. "Papa has more enthusiasm than actual skill, but he loves to dance and party. My mother has taught him some steps over the years, enough so that he can twirl her around the floor, but he prefers to let the music take him over and improvise. And of course that drives her crazy, which typically results in another argument."

Matthew shrugged. "As much as they bicker, it's pretty damned obvious that they're crazy about each other. But I get why they would have major issues living together for more than a few days." 

She gave a delicate little shudder. "More like hours than days, I'm afraid. And it's definitely a case with those two of 'can't live with you, can't live without you'. I just hope that one of these days they'll finally find a way to cohabitate peacefully. As Mama said earlier, neither one of them is getting any younger."

Their drinks arrived then - a white Russian for Matthew, and a small glass of sherry for Sasha. They clinked glasses in a silent toast before each taking a sip.

"Thank you for arranging all this," she told him earnestly, taking his hand in hers. "Flying my parents into town, setting them up at the hotel, taking us all out to these wonderful meals. And of course for all the beautiful gifts, which once again were far, far too much."

He interlaced their fingers, resting their hands on her thigh. "It was my pleasure," he assured her. "You deserved to have a fabulous birthday. And even though I would have preferred to spend it alone with you, I'm happy to have shared this time with your parents. Even if your mom keeps giving me the evil eye. Have you told her exactly who I am, by the way? More specifically, how much money I have?"

"God, no." Sasha shook her head emphatically. "First of all, even if I explained it to her in three different languages, she would have zero idea of what it is you do for a living. Believe it or not, she's even more inept at technology than I am, can't even figure out how to use an ATM. But she would definitely understand money. And if she knew exactly how rich you were, she'd be nagging me every single day to - well, you know."

Matthew grinned teasingly. "What? Make a commitment to you? Move in with me? Or convince me to make an honest woman out of you?"

She paused before replying, taking another small sip of her sherry. "All three, I suppose," she said reluctantly. "She tells me all the time that I'm getting older, that I should settle down and get serious about my future, that teaching yoga and doing massage isn't a real career, blah, blah, blah. I can't tell you how many quote unquote 'nice Russian boys' she's wanted to set me up with over the years. Of course, the fact that she's never felt the urge to get married and settle down is immaterial."

He had grown quiet at her words. "And what is it that you want, Sasha? Do you want to get married someday, maybe have children? We've never really discussed a future together, you know. And yes, I realize that I'm not exactly in the ideal position to do so at the moment, given that my obnoxious ex is still refusing to sign those divorce papers. But I do want to make a commitment to you, I do want to continue having you in my life. And while I can't offer you marriage right now, I'd love nothing better than to have you move in with me."

Sasha stiffened, and her hand suddenly grew slack in his. "Matthew - I'm not ready for something like that. It's too soon."

"We've been together for four months," he chided gently.

"Yes, and that's the longest any relationship I've ever been in has lasted until now," she declared. "I've never lived with anyone, never made a commitment of any sort to anyone, and have never really considered getting married. So, please. Believe me when I say it's too soon to talk about any of that stuff. Can't we just go on the way we've been doing?"

Matthew picked up her hand in his and studied it carefully, tracing a finger along her lifeline. "Do you care for me, Sasha?" he murmured.

"Of course I do," she replied immediately. She cupped his face between her palms, starting intently into his eyes. "I care for you very deeply, Matthew. As a friend, a lover, a person."



       
         
       
        

He smiled a bit sadly. "You don't mention love. Is that because you don't love me, or because you don't believe in such things?"

His question visibly took her aback, and she stared at him in silence for long seconds. "I - I don't know," admitted Sasha. "I mean, I believe that love exists between partners, have seen it with my own eyes - Tessa and Ian, Julia and Nathan, Julio and Chad. Even my parents, though theirs is much more of a love-hate relationship. As for myself, I'm just not sure I know what it feels like. Romantic love, that is. Of course, I love my parents, my Aunt Linda, my family. But what I feel for you is much different, Matthew. Maybe it's love, but maybe it's just affection. How do you know the difference?"