"Hayley, for God's sake. How many times do I have to tell you? You can't just lounge around in a bikini anymore. You're supposed to be almost five months pregnant, and you won't fool anyone this way. Especially since that bikini doesn't cover very much."
Hayley's voice floated around the corner, sounding both irritated and bored. "Relax, Mom. You and I are the only ones here right now. Casey won't be back until close to dinnertime, and Dad's still away on his business trip. Nobody is going to walk by and notice that I haven't gained a pound. In fact," she added happily, "I've actually dropped five pounds. My size 00 jeans fit perfectly now."
"You stupid girl!" hissed Lindsey. "No one is going to believe for a second that you're pregnant if you intentionally keep losing weight! Don't you dare wear those jeans around the house when your father's here. He's already too suspicious for my liking."
"Yeah, tell me about it," groused Hayley. "Before he left on his trip the other night, he cornered me for almost an hour asking a bunch of questions. And while I realize that Dad is a big nerd, making a two page list of stuff to ask me takes nerdiness to a whole new low. I thought I was going to faint or have a panic attack or something equally gross the whole time."
"Well, I hope like hell that you answered all his questions correctly," replied Lindsey in a threatening tone. "We're too close now to risk you screwing this up. What sorts of things was he asking you anyway?"
Hayley emitted a long-suffering sigh. "God, what didn't he ask me? He wanted to know what brand of pre-natal vitamins I was taking - thank God you bought me some, because he insisted on reading the label. Then he was pushing me to register for something called Lamaze classes, and offering to go with me to be my birth coach or some such crap. Eww, even if I really was pregnant, there is no way I'd want my father to be in the delivery room with me. How embarrassing and pathetic would that be? I mean, all the doctors and nurses would think I was some sort of loser, having my dad there instead of the baby's father."
"Hayley. Focus, for fuck's sake, will you?" chastised Lindsey. "That last part is sort of a moot point, isn't it? Since you aren't actually pregnant, that is. But you've got to keep this little act up for just a few more weeks. I'm getting closer and closer to convincing your father to call off the divorce. I just need to make sure he stays close by a bit longer."
"Really, Mom? Because it sure seems to me that Dad is spending more and more time away from here lately. Besides all of these business trips, I know he's been staying at the condo a few nights a week. That doesn't sound like you're making much progress to me," Hayley taunted.
"I don't tell you everything, Hayley," retorted Lindsey. "Some things are private between husband and wife. All you need to know is that things are coming along nicely."
"Whatever." Hayley yawned. "The only thing I want to know is how much longer I need to keep up this farce. I'm tired of having to wear layers whenever Dad's around, or put him off when he starts talking about interviewing nannies and choosing what room would be best for the nursery. I - I don't like lying to him, Mom. It isn't fair, you know? I wish now I'd never let you con me into this whole mess."
"Don't you dare cave in now, you little brat!" yelled Lindsey. "I can still ship you off to that boarding school in Utah, you know. And after deliberately deceiving your father for almost three months, he won't want to have anything to do with you if he learns the truth. He'd probably sign the enrollment papers himself for that school as punishment. So don't stab me in the back at this point, Hayley, because you will sorely regret betraying me."
"Fine." Hayley's voice choked up a little. "But how much longer, Mom? School is going to be starting in a few more weeks, and there's no way in hell I'm wearing baggy clothes the first day back."
"Just a couple more weeks," begged Lindsey. "I swear to you. I'm this close to getting him back, I just need to wear him down a teensy bit more. Then this will all be over with, and you can go back to the way things were."
"And have you figured a way out of this whole mess yet?"
"Of course. Well, I have to give credit to Nikki, since all of this was her idea. But this is the plan. Your father has another business trip scheduled in about ten days, and he'll be gone for a week. During that time you're going to have a miscarriage. And of course he'll feel terrible about it, want to rush home to make sure you're okay, and obviously stick around to help you through the trauma."