The two weeks Jesse and I were apart dragged. Each day was a different uphill battle for a different reason, mostly due to the fact that I just plain missed Jesse. We talked a minimum of three times a day. We texted throughout the day. We Skyped a few times. But none of it was the same as being next to him, feeling his warmth, or breathing in his scent like he was my oxygen.
I’d gone back to the house only one other time, aiming for a time when I knew Richard wouldn’t be around. The asshole had boxed up most of what was left in the house, making it nearly impossible for me to find anything that I wanted. He’d taken every piece of artwork down that I hadn’t gotten to in my previous visit, and I had no idea what he had done with any of it. The house looked nearly empty, actually, except for the furniture, and that was fine by me. I found a few last minute items I had forgotten, but I realized that I’d have been fine without any of it.
I’d managed just fine without any of it since that fateful night in February when Jesse had taken me home with him.
I saw a picture of Richard and me on the counter. It was from our wedding reception. We were both smiling, but as I stared at myself in the picture, I could see an emptiness behind my eyes, an emptiness that was now gone. An emptiness that had been filled by someone else.
It struck me as strange that I had never noticed what had been missing from my life. I thought I was happy with Richard, at least when we were dating and throughout our engagement. But maybe deep down inside, even on our wedding day, I knew that we didn’t really belong together. It just wasn’t something I came to terms with early enough to stop.
Finally, June 7 arrived.
I didn’t sleep well the night before, mostly because my nerves were getting to me. I wasn’t nervous to go to court and appear before a judge who was legally dissolving my marriage, though.
I was a fucking nervous wreck to fly to San Francisco, meet up with Jesse, and finally have “our night.”
I pulled into the parking garage and walked to the courthouse where I would enter a married woman and exit a single woman.
The proceedings were fairly simple. We both had lawyers; mine was John Buchanan, our school union lawyer. He didn’t specialize in divorce, but he knew the law and that was good enough for me, and I trusted him after the ordeal with Jesse and me.
The judge declared that our house had to be listed by the end of the month by an impartial third party and we would evenly split the profit. He said that I could choose who would list it since Richard had too many connections in the real estate world.
Then he decreed the dissolution of our marriage, and before I knew it, it was all over.
I thanked John and the judge, and then I headed to the Social Security office right next door to begin the official proceedings to change my name back to Veronica Freemont.
I stopped in a bar for a quick glass of celebratory wine. It seemed poignant that I was there by myself, drinking a glass of wine, an independent, single woman ready to start over.
I couldn’t help the smile plastered on my face as I drank that glass of wine. A text came through from Jesse.
So are you single yet?
My smile widened as I read his words. Indeed I am.
You won’t be for long.
I stared at that text for at least five full minutes as I tried to interpret his meaning. Did he just mean that I wouldn’t be free because we were going to have “our night” together? Or did he mean that I wouldn’t be free because he was looking toward building a future with me?
Was it strange that I wanted that future with Jesse as much as I did after I had literally just ended a marriage?
Talking to Jesse about his sister and about Carly showed me how fragile and precious life was. Even though they had chosen to end things, it didn’t mean that life couldn’t be ripped away from us in a heartbeat for a variety of other reasons. And maybe in their honor, Jesse wanted to push forward and live his life without any regrets. Wasting time when we both knew that we were headed toward forever together seemed pointless.
I still hadn’t replied when his next text came through. I can’t wait to see you, V.
Can’t wait to see you, either.
I headed home and packed for my trip, and then it was time to get myself to the airport. Quinn had offered to drive me so I didn’t have to pay for parking during my three weeks away, and I gladly accepted. We left a little early so she could take me out for a celebratory drink on the way.
Once we’d placed our order, the gossip fest began. “So, Ms. Freemont, what’s the dirt of the day?”
“Apart from me finally being free of Richard?” I asked.
She nodded.
“I’m pretty sure that by tomorrow night, I won’t be able to walk from all of the sex.”