Jesse seemed like the kind of amazing man who would fight for a woman, who would stand up for anybody who needed him. With Richard’s well-placed friends on the school board, either of us standing up to Richard could mean Jesse’s job, my job, or both.
Jesse was an amazing asset to Central. He was the best high school counselor I’d ever met, working hard to ensure that he was doing whatever was best for kids. His dedication was unparalleled, and I couldn’t even begin to imagine what Richard was capable of doing that would tear Jesse’s reputation to shreds. The thought alone clawed at me.
So I decided not to tell him in order to protect him. And apparently I had twenty-four hours to figure out my living situation.
Son of a bitch. For the first time in our five years together, I actually hated him.
I was having a difficult time with Richard’s words ringing in my ears as Jesse’s gorgeous face flashed through my mind. Richard’s words were only making me angry, and the image of Jesse was only making me sad. The way he looked right after he’d brushed my lips with his and then pulled back, almost as if to ensure that it was okay to really kiss me, replayed over and over in my memory. That image of him was burned into my mind: Full lips, flushed cheeks, lustful eyes, messy hair.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get that image out of my head.
So, eventually, I stopped trying.
I assigned an essay due at the end of the hour to my afternoon classes so I could just sit at my desk and think.
There had to be some solution that I couldn’t see, because at the moment, the only thing I could come up with was that I had to move out of Jesse’s house. I thought once again about telling him what Richard had said, but I couldn’t do that to Jesse. I couldn’t drag him into the mess. I couldn’t allow him to fight Richard.
But I had to come up with some excuse as to why I was suddenly moving out. I’d have to offer some sort of explanation to him.
At lunch, I asked Quinn if I could stay with her for a few days until I figured out where to go. I didn’t want to drag her into it, either, so I lied.
“Things not working out so well with Darling Drakester?” she asked.
“Things are working out too well with Jesse. And that’s why I have to leave.”
She gave me a concerned look, and I almost fell apart at her apprehension. But, somehow, I held it together. Barely.
“Yeah, Veronica. Of course you can stay with me.”
“Thanks,” I whispered.
The next task was figuring out how to tell Jesse.
I stopped by the house and dropped off the divorce paperwork again. I left a note for the asshole I had married.
Richard:
I’ll be moving out of Jesse’s tonight and staying with Quinn. Sign these and leave them here. I will be back tomorrow to pick them up and file them.
Veronica
I cried as I drove back to Jesse’s. This time, though, it wasn’t because of the feelings of leaving my husband. This time, it was because I knew I had to leave Jesse.
His truck was in the garage when I pulled into the driveway, and just the sight of that truck still managed to give me the flutters low in my belly. I couldn’t believe I was leaving him and his perfect house. I wanted to live there forever with him, but, sadly, that was just no longer a possibility. All I could hope was that he’d still be available once my break from Richard was finalized.
Maybe this was for the best. I wouldn’t have the constant temptation in front of me if I moved in with Quinn.
But I liked the temptation.
I liked living with Jesse. No; I loved living with Jesse. I loved waking up with him next to me. I loved the way his lips found my forehead every night and the way he carried me to bed after I fell asleep on the world’s most comfortable couch. He took care of me with affection, and as I fought fruitlessly against the onslaught of my tears, I realized that the reason I was so torn apart about leaving him was because I was falling for him.
I wanted to take care of him the same way he took care of me. I wanted to be the one he finally opened up to. I wanted to hold him when he was sad and kiss him when he was happy. I wanted to wake up next to him every morning.
And most of all, I wanted to tell him how I finally realized that I’d been falling for him for five years but was blinded by the wrong relationship all that time, and how now that I had the chance to get close to him, I never wanted to be apart from him again.
But all of that was impossible. And it was fucking Richard who once again stripped me of something I really wanted, or, in this case, of the thing I needed most in my life.
It reminded me of that thought I’d had while my mind was elsewhere in the parent meeting for Jacob’s behavior: I was destined to be with one man, and Fate had put Jesse in front of me first. And then I’d been too blinded by Richard to see that Jesse was the one I was meant to be with all along.