I suddenly felt the strong urge to get the hell out of that house.
He set his laptop and keys on the kitchen counter, and then he leaned back on it and stared me down.
“Can I have the papers back?” I asked.
He sighed and then shook his head.
“Why not, Richard?” my voice was sharp.
“Don’t fucking talk to me like I’m one of your students.”
“What did you do with the papers?”
“I shredded them.”
“You’re a real piece of work.”
“Thanks, sweetheart,” he said, a slimy grin spreading across his face. How had I ever found him attractive? He made my skin crawl.
“I’ll drop a new set by tomorrow. Stop being a dick and just sign them. The sooner you do that, the sooner we can just stop this nonsense and start moving on with our lives.”
“You really want out that bad?” he asked.
I glared over at him. “What do you think?”
He stared at me for a long moment, and then he nodded. “Alright. I’ll sign.”
Something about his sudden change of heart told me not to trust that he was doing this with good intentions, but I was so happy at hearing those words that I didn’t really give it a second thought.
“Thank you,” I said. “I have to go.”
CHAPTER 8
I walked out the door and headed to my car, feeling the first pricks of tears behind my eyes. It was an odd mix of utter joy and bitter sadness.
I didn’t allow the tears to fall until I pulled away from the house. Richard didn’t deserve to see my tears. He’d only think they were for him, when in actuality there was such a rush of emotions rolling through me. Sadness because I still had to wait to be honest with Jesse about my intense feelings for him; anger at Richard for not signing and forcing me to wait a few days longer when all I wanted was for it to just be over, bitterness mixed with joy over the fact that my husband understood that it was really over and that he was going to sign the damn papers.
I made it back to Jesse’s place, tears still falling freely down my cheeks. I grabbed a box from my backseat to bring in with me, and when I walked through the mudroom and into the kitchen, Jesse was standing there, waiting for me. I set the box down on the counter and my purse on top of the box, feeling Jesse’s eyes on me the entire time. I sniffled, wiping away the tears that wouldn’t stop with the back of my hand, and then I saw Jesse open his arms. I walked into them, and it was as natural as breathing as my arms wrapped around his waist and his folded around my shaking shoulders. My cheek met his chest as I let out the emotions that had been building; building between Richard and me for two years, building between Jesse and me for five years.
I realized it now.
I’d had a crush on Jesse from the moment I’d met him, and I thought back to that first time we’d been introduced.
He was leading a session for new teachers at Central. I found him incredibly hot from the start, but I was brand new to the school. I just didn’t think it would have been smart to get involved with a coworker when I was a first year teacher. And then shortly after that, Quinn had introduced Richard and me, and things just sort of took off. But I’d always held that attraction to Jesse, even when I repressed it because I was dating someone, and then engaged to someone, and then married to someone.
But soon, I would be divorced from someone. Soon, I’d be free to pursue anybody I wanted to, and now I was mature enough to understand how to maintain a relationship with a colleague and still be professional.
And the only person I had any interest in pursuing was the man whose arms were holding me against him.
This was comfort. This was home. This was where I wanted to be.
And as I pulled back ever so slightly out of his warmth and looked up into his eyes, I knew with every fiber of my being that the feeling was mutual.
His fingertip ran along my hairline and then tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, his eyes never leaving mine. He brushed a stray tear away as I took a shuddering breath.
“I’ve got you, V. You’re going to be fine,” he soothed quietly, his fingers tenderly caressing my back as he held me. Instead of feeling like I was going to break down on the spot at his gentle reassurance, I felt comforted, and I realized that it was because I believed him. I was going to be fine because this man was going to take care of me.
I suddenly wanted to kiss him more than a fish wants to swim in water, more than a scared turtle wants to be in its shell, more than a coyote wants to howl at the moon.
I tilted my head back, and I felt him move in a little closer, his arms wrapping around me as his gentle fingers pressed a little more forcefully into my flesh.