Sell or Be Sold(49)

I was unable to really get in communication with her because I didn’t know what she liked or had an interest in. I was getting nowhere fast, but I refused to give up. Looking for some positive support and reassurance, I called my mom and announced that I’d met the girl I was going to marry. My mom was excited and asked if we’d been out yet. I told her that there was just one little problem: The girl had no interest in me. My mom, wanting to protect her son from being hurt, offered her advice on this situation, stating, “Grant, it takes two for a relationship. If she isn’t interested in you, then you can’t impose yourself on her.” (Protect yourself from negative information—Be careful where you get advice when you are going after your dreams and goals; even the people who love you the most can offer information that could possibly cause you to get off the path of your dreams.)

The moment my mother said, “It takes two,” it hit me what I had to do. If the sale was meant to be, it was up to me! I’ve heard salespeople blame the customer for years for sales they didn’t make. I immediately became even more determined to make this relationship happen.

If someone was to be sold it was up to me, not to Elena. If I waited for her to make it happen, it never would, so I had to get creative. Buyers don’t buy until someone sells! And it doesn’t take two, it only takes one. I decided at that moment that I would be the one to take complete responsibility for selling myself to her and closing the deal. What to do first: Get sold on the product again (me). So I sat down and wrote all the things that I had to offer and all the quality points that I would bring to the relationship. I then came up with an action plan. I started calling anyone who might know her and put it out there that I was interested in her and wanted to make it known (massive action). Then I decided to call her every few weeks until I was able to finally break through to her and really get into communication, with her giving me the chance to get to know her and her to get to know me. I called her monthly for an entire year, leaving nice little positive messages. Not only did she not take any of my calls, but she never returned a single one of them. But that didn’t stop me, as no real salesperson will stop because of a little rejection. I just stayed interested and kept letting my interest be known. I was unreasonable and disregarded any logic. Since the phone calls were not getting any traction, I continued, when necessary, to remind myself that my product was good and my mission was great!

I went back to working my power base. I discovered, through persistence, that a friend of mine had a friend who was actually a girlfriend of Elena’s. I then started by getting to know the girlfriend, and I told her that I was interested in Elena and updated her on my efforts and my lack of success (power base). I asked her to put in a good word for me and to find out what the deal was with Elena and why she wasn’t responding to me. The girlfriend actually told me that Elena had mentioned my name before, saying there was this guy who kept calling and leaving funny messages, but that she didn’t have any interest.

The girlfriend said that she told Elena I was a really good guy and that she should go out with me. As the girlfriend told me this, I got so excited, thinking, I’m going to pull this off, at which point the girlfriend tried to let me down gently, saying that Elena had stated that I just wasn’t her type.

Is that a complaint or an objection? I wondered. What is the objection? I had to pull it out of the girlfriend, because I had to know what I was dealing with. I got Elena’s girlfriend to tell me because I had to know (be committed). She finally told me that Elena had said that I was too short, that she didn’t like businessmen, and that I just wasn’t her type.

But those aren’t real reasons not to go out with me—they’re just complaints, I thought (know the difference between complaints and objections).

While all common sense was telling me to give up, I was walking down the street and saw this ugly guy with this beautiful girl and I thought, How did he do that? I didn’t know the answer, but I knew it wasn’t because he quit. So I decided I wouldn’t quit until I at least got an appointment, sold the product (me), and went for the close!

I had to agree with her first, as that’s the number one rule in selling. So I called her and left another message on her recorder, probably my thirteenth by now. “Hey, Elena, this is Grant. As you probably know, I’ve been bugging Erica about you. Look, I don’t want you to think I’m a stalker or anything. I’m just a guy that’s really interested in you and I have no intention of giving up until you give me a chance. By the way, just as an update—I’m growing.” I always kept the messages positive and upbeat and never made her feel wrong.