Selected Tales of the Brothers Grimm(9)

To which Simpleton replied, “I only have ash cake and sour beer, but if that’s good enough for you, let’s sit down and eat.”

Then they sat down and Simpleton pulled out his ash cake, but it was a splendid pancake, and his sour beer had turned into fine wine. So they ate and drank, and after that the little man said, “Because you have a good heart and shared what’s yours, I will grant you good fortune. Yonder stands an old tree. Cut it down, and you will find something at its roots.” Whereupon the stranger took his leave.

Simpleton went over and hacked down the tree, and as it fell, there at the roots sat a goose with feathers of pure gold. He picked it up, took it with him, and went to an inn to spend the night. But the innkeeper had three daughters who saw the goose, were curious what kind of wondrous bird it was, and craved one of its golden feathers. The eldest thought, I’ll find an occasion to pluck out a feather. And when Simpleton happened to go out she grabbed the goose by one of its wings, but her hand got stuck. Not long after that the second sister was dead set on the same, to pluck out a feather – but no sooner did she touch her sister than she got stuck. Finally the third sister came with the same idea, but the others screamed, “Stay back, for heaven’s sake, stay back.” But she did not fathom why she should stay away, and thought, If they’re at it, I might as well join in. And so she leapt forward, and as soon as she touched the middle sister’s hand, she too got stuck. So they had to spend the night with the goose.

The following morning Simpleton took the goose under his arm and went on his way, not concerning himself with the three girls stuck to it. They had to keep running after him, left right, left right, according to the rhythm of his step. In the middle of a field they met a pastor, and when he saw the entourage he said, “You ought to be ashamed of yourselves, you nasty girls, to be running after that young boy through hill and dale. It’s just not right.” At these words, he grabbed the youngest by the hand to tear her away – but as soon as he touched her, he too got stuck and had to run along behind them.

Not long after that the sexton came and saw the pastor following the three girls. Very much surprised, he called out, “Hey, pastor, what’s the hurry? Don’t forget that we still have a baptism to officiate today.” He ran after him and grabbed him by the sleeve, and promptly got stuck. Two peasants came strolling out of the field dragging a hoe, surprised to see the five of them trudging along. The pastor pleaded for them to release the sexton and himself. But as soon as they touched the sexton’s hand, they too got stuck, and now there were seven running after Simpleton and his golden goose.

They soon came to a city ruled by a king who had a daughter so somber and serious nobody could make her laugh. Therefore he passed a law that whosoever could make her laugh would have her as his bride. When Simpleton heard this, he went with his goose and his entourage to present himself to the princess, and as soon as she saw the seven souls running after him she split her sides laughing and couldn’t stop. So Simpleton asked for her hand in marriage, but the king, hardly inclined to accept such a son-in-law, raised all sorts of objections and said that he first had to bring him a man who could drink up a cellar-full of wine.

Simpleton, thinking that the little gray man might be able to help, went out into the forest, and at the spot where he had cut down the tree he saw a man seated there with a sad expression on his face. Simpleton asked what caused him such a heavy heart, to which the man replied, “I have such a mighty thirst I can’t quench it. I can’t abide cold water. I’ve already guzzled down a cask of wine, but that’s just a drop in the bucket.”

“I can help you,” said Simpleton. “Come with me, and you’ll drink your fill.” He took him to the king’s wine cellar, and the man promptly attacked the casks. He drank until his sides ached, and before the day was done he had drunk up the entire cellar.

Simpleton once again demanded his bride, but the king could not abide that such a lowly fellow whom everyone called Simpleton should carry off his daughter, and so set new stipulations. He first had to find a man who could eat up a mountain of bread. Simpleton didn’t hesitate for long but went straight to the woods, and there at the same spot sat a man with a strap tied tightly around his middle and a dour look, who said, “I gobbled up an entire oven-full of bread crumbs, but it’s no use, I’m still so hungry. My belly’s empty and I have to tighten my belt, lest I die of hunger.”

Simpleton smiled and said, “Get up and come with me, and you’ll eat your fill.” He led him to the king’s court, where the king had amassed all the flour in his realm, which he’d had baked into a prodigious mountain of bread. But the man from the forest set to it and started eating, and in a day’s time the entire mountain of bread was gone.