Selected Tales of the Brothers Grimm(44)

Whereupon Hans My Hedgehog climbed down from the tree and said he would show him the way if the king would grant him in writing the first thing he happened upon when he got home. The king thought, What’s the difference? Hans My Hedgehog surely can’t read, and I can write what I please. So the king took up a quill, dipped it in ink, and wrote something down, and once it was done Hans My Hedgehog showed him the way, and he got home safe and sound. But as soon as his daughter saw the king from afar, she was so overjoyed that she came running toward him and covered him in kisses. Then the king thought of Hans My Hedgehog and told her what had happened to him, and that he had pretended to promise in writing to give this curious creature whatever he first encountered when he got home, and the creature had been mounted on a cock, as though on a horse, and made beautiful music. But the king had written that he would not have it, convinced that in any case Hans My Hedgehog couldn’t read it. The princess was well-pleased with this and said it was a good thing, since she had no intention of ever marrying a hedgehog.

But Hans My Hedgehog kept watching his donkey and his pigs, seated happily in the treetop, blowing on his bagpipe. It so happened that another king who had lost his way came riding by with his servants and footmen and didn’t know how to get home again because the forest was so vast. He too heard the beautiful music from afar and said to one of his footmen to go have a look and find out where it came from. The footman went and stood under the tree and saw the weathercock with Hans My Hedgehog seated on its back. He asked him what he was up to.

“I’m guarding my donkey and pigs. But how can I help you?”

The footman said they had gotten lost and could not find their way back to their kingdom, and asked if he could show them the way. So Hans My Hedgehog climbed down with his cock and told the old king he would gladly show him the way if he would give him whatever he first encountered upon reaching his royal castle. The king agreed and put in writing that Hans My Hedgehog should have what he asked for. Once it was done, Hans rode ahead on his cock to show him the way, and the king was glad to get back home to his kingdom.

Now the king had an only daughter who was very beautiful and came running toward him, fell into his arms, and kissed him, overjoyed at her old father’s safe return. And when she asked him where in the world he had been for so long, he told her how he had gotten lost and might never have made it home again, but while passing through a great forest he happened upon a curious individual, half hedgehog, half human, mounted on a cock and perched in a tall tree, playing beautiful music, who had helped show him the way home, in exchange for which, however, he had promised to give whatever in his kingdom he first encountered, and that, he was so very sorry to say, turned out to be his daughter. Whereupon she promised, for love of her old father, to go with the curious individual when he came acalling.

But Hans My Hedgehog kept tending his pigs, and the pigs spawned little piglets, and they became so plentiful that they filled the entire forest. Then Hans My Hedgehog didn’t want to live in the forest any longer, and he sent word to his father that they should empty all the stalls in the village, for he would return with such a great herd that everyone who wanted a pig would have one to slaughter. His father was not pleased when he got wind of this, as he thought his son had long since died. But Hans My Hedgehog sat himself on the weathercock, drove the herd of pigs back to the village, and had them all slaughtered. Heavens, was there ever such hacking and butchering! You could hear the sound of it a full two-hours’ ride away.

“Dearest Dad,” Hans My Hedgehog said when it was all done, “have my weathercock shod again at the smithy, then I’ll ride away and never return again.” So the father had the cock shod again, happy to be rid of his strange son once and for all.

Hans My Hedgehog rode off to the first kingdom. There the king had ordered that if anyone came riding on a cock with a bagpipe in hand, he was to be shot, beaten, and stabbed, so that he never made it to the castle. When Hans My Hedgehog came riding up, guards with bayonets fell upon him, but he spurred on his cock, and it flew up over the gate and landed in front of the king’s window, where he dismounted and cried out that the king should give him what he promised, or else he would kill the king and his daughter. Then the king convinced his daughter to go out to him to save their lives. So she dressed herself in white, and her father gave her a coach drawn by six strong horses, with lavishly attired livery, and loaded down with gold and precious goods. She mounted the carriage, and Hans My Hedgehog sat next to her, with his cock and his bagpipe on the seat beside him, bid farewell, and drove off, and the king thought he would never see his daughter again. But things didn’t turn out as he thought they would, since no sooner had they driven a short distance out of town than Hans My Hedgehog pulled off her lovely clothes and poked her with his hedgehog quills until she was bloody all over, saying, “That’s just repayment for you and your father’s deception. Be off, I don’t want you,” and he chased her home, and she was scorned her livelong day.