“That’s insane.”
“Yes, and you know as well as I do that it’s what we need. Both of us.” He takes a deep breath. “So come back with me and we’ll figure this out together.”
I frown, still feeling the rage boiling inside me. “No.”
“You will come with me, Lillith. There is no choice. You’re in danger here. This place is monitored, and from time to time, someone will take a look. We cannot be caught in this city, let alone this facility. We have to get out of here, now.”
“I’ll go on my own then. I’d rather be alone for a while.”
“No, you’re safer with me, so you’ll come with me. Now.”
I stay put, but he grabs my hand and drags me with him.
“Hey!” I growl. “Not this again.”
“If this is what it takes to make you listen, I’ll take you by force.”
“Why would I let you take me? You have nothing but vapid promises.”
“Oh, I will save your friend; you can trust me on that. And if I don’t, you can fucking kill me.”
“What?”
He turns around, his face darkened to the point where I’m baffled just looking at him. “Yeah, I said it. Kill me. Kill me if I don’t make you happy. If I don’t give you what you want. If I don’t bring your friend to safety. Kill me, Lillith. I will hand you the weapon myself.”
“You’re that sure you can do this?”
“Dead sure.” He narrows his eyes. “If someone’s going to thrust a knife into my heart, I will allow only you to do it.”
He’s dead serious, I can tell. His expression is murderous. He will make it happen, and if not, I will go down trying to do the same. I won’t let her rot away in some facility, alone, without retribution. However, I’m haunted by the thought of actually pushing through on this promise of his. One way or another, this is going to end badly. And now I will be the one to pull the trigger.
Accompanying song: “Born to Die” by Lana Del Rey
Albany, New York – June 10th, 2013. Evening.
We move to a different city, always on the run. I brought her clothes and belongings with me when I left the hotel, making sure we leave nothing behind. No trace, no tracks. Nothing. We have to become invisible if we want to escape their grasp. If we want to survive.
She’s restless, staring out of the window while tapping her foot. I feel guilty for not telling her all the things that I knew sooner, but my selfish heart couldn’t bear to lose her again. It’s my fault she was caught up in this mess, but I won’t let her be dragged into it any further. I will keep her away from them, no matter the cost.
And I know the price will be high.
I bring her to a hotel room, this time only one because I don’t want her to be alone anymore. Not now. At this moment in time, she needs someone to channel her rage at. I can tell that she’s still very angry and rightfully so. She’s constantly chewing her lip to the point of making it bleed, making me want to suck the blood drops off her lips. But I must resist, because right now is not the time to kiss her. Her eyes are filled with murderous intent, glazed over from sadness, but fueled by rage. Talking didn’t dissolve any of her emotions, and I don’t expect it to.
There is only one solution to this problem.
And neither of us is going to like it.
But I know it has to happen. For us to rebuild our relationship and learn to love again, we must be on equal terms. I hurt her; I debased her. Now I must allow her to return the favor.
As she stomps into the room, biting her nails, I close the door and lock it. The sound makes her ears perk up, and she turns around to glance at my hand holding the handle before gazing up at my face. Narrowing her eyes, she parts her lips.
“Now what?”
“Now I repent.”
I unbuckle my belt and pull it through the loops.
Her eyes widen, and she sucks in her lip, frowning.
“Are you going to punish me again?” she asks.
Holding the belt, I start unbuttoning my shirt, and her eyes follow the movements of my hands as I take it all off. She licks her lips at the sight of me, as if she wants to put her tongue all over my skin, but that is currently not the impression I want to give her. Any other day, I would not even fucking kiss her until she begged me to, let her plead to run her tongue over my cock, and suck out my hot cum until I’m sated. However, today is not about me. Today is about her.
Today, I will take all the pain she has suffered and bleed until she is happy.
As I throw the shirt on the floor, I throw her the belt.
I catch her off guard, but she manages to grab ahold of it before it drops to the floor.