Seize(61)

When he’s done, he collapses on top of me, grasping my breast and squeezing it softly while pecking my belly. He licks the sweat off my skin, panting loudly.

“Hmmm … Did I tell you how much I love you?”

His words make my heart flutter. “Yes, many times.”

He grins. “I know. And I’ll keep saying it until you believe it to be the truth.”

I sigh as he keeps kissing my skin until he’s all the way near my face again. There he starts undoing the straps around my arms.

“Stay still, I’ll help you up,” he says, crawling back onto the bed.

He unties the sheets around my legs as well, which feel naked without the bonds. It’s funny. I am completely naked, but without my restraints, I feel even more vulnerable than before.

Sebastian leans over to lift me up into a seated position on the bed, where he drags my body to his. Like a wounded girl, he folds me into his body, wrapping his arms around me, his legs around mine, entrapping me within him. My lungs expunge a huge breath. I feel safe.

With him, I’ve always felt safe.

Which frightens me even more.

“I love you more than I’ve ever loved anything in my life,” Sebastian whispers, pressing his lips to my temple.

I bury my head in his shoulder, not knowing how to respond. I’m tired. So tired.

“How do you feel?”

“Relieved …” I murmur.

He smiles against my skin. “I’m glad. That is what I intended.”

Clearing his throat, he moves us off the bed, still carrying me in his arms.

“Where are we going?” I ask as he walks through the room with me.

“To the bathroom, so we can get you cleaned up.”

I chuckle. “You were the one who made me dirty.”

“Correct, which is why I’ll give your sore skin some tender attention.”

Somehow, this statement makes my heart flutter.

“But that is not the only reason,” he says as he places me in the bathtub and turns on the water. “I have reclaimed you as my own, and in order to start again, it’s time to rid you of their filth.”





Accompanying song: “Hard Time” by Seinabo Sey





New Haven, Connecticut – June 10th, 2013. Midnight.





Confusion has taken over my soul. I’m torn between the feelings I have for Sebastian and my repulsion for what he has done. In my mind, thoughts rage about my anger and the desire for retribution grows stronger every day. But in my heart, the longing to forgive Sebastian and move on lingers and seeps into my soul.

I’m tucked into his body, his arm laying heavily over my waist while his hand is curled underneath, staking claim over me. In this warm bed, I feel comfortable and safe, but a nagging feeling unfurls in my stomach, keeping me awake. My eyes are wide open while he’s been snoring for some time. Sebastian never left my room, which is the sole reason I never had a chance to truly think about what it is that I want.

If it is him that I want.

If his love is more important to me than my principles and morals. My sanity.

Am I in love with this man?

I don’t know. I feel numb, unsure if what I feel is really there. Maybe it’s because the lashes on my chest still hurt.

The redness has subsided since Sebastian put an ointment on my skin. He rubbed me with a sweet smelling cream that relieved my pain. I’m baffled at how I handled gazing at myself with the marks on my skin. His marks. The marks that I now cherish somehow. As if I’ve conquered something and this was a victory on its own.

Or maybe it’s because I’m subconsciously trying to ignore my true feelings.

As I stare at the bright moon through the window, a thought settles in my mind. I am free.

Free of the pain of my past. Free of the men. Free of Sebastian. Even when he’s here right beside me, holding me tight, he has already admitted to loving me. Someone who loves cannot keep his love away from the things that she wants. He cannot hold me here anymore. Like he said, he doesn’t hold the power anymore; I do. I hold his heart, which means I can go anywhere I want and he won’t stop me.

I am free.

Free to rescue Ashley.

Oh, God.

The moment I think of her, images of her horrid experience flash through my mind. How she’s still stuck in that hospital, being subjected to God knows what. It’s all fake, which means they could do anything they want with her. The men are relentless, and they know that she’s my friend, so they won’t show any mercy. I’ve escaped, which means they’ll take it out on her.

I have to find her.

I shoot up from the bed.

Sebastian grumbles and fear settles in my stomach. I don’t want to wake him, because I’m afraid of what I’ll do to him if he tries to stop me.