He walks to the closet and grabs the robe hanging inside. Peculiar. I wonder if he’s going to make me lie partially on the floor like this. It’s strange that it crosses my mind that I wouldn’t mind as long as it means being touched by him.
Strange indeed.
He comes back with two belts taken from the robes, the left side of his lip curling up into a smile. He goes to his knees and binds the belt right above my elbow, tying it to the bedpost, and then does the same to my other arm. I’m strapped to the point of being unable to move, but not in a way that I could ever imagine happening. It’s surreal, like I’m floating in the air, upside down, completely under his dominion.
“How do you feel?” he asks.
“Different …” I breathe out through my mouth.
He places a hand on my chest, sliding down toward my chin, and then he tips my head back more until it can’t go any further. “What do you see?”
Squinting, I focus and look through the gap between his legs.
“A mirror,” I gasp.
The sudden sight of my own naked body and him standing over me is overwhelming. My cheeks turn crimson, my body heating up from just looking at us. I feel more vulnerable than ever before, as I’ve never actually seen myself like this. I’m confronted with the cold, hard truth. I am a submissive to a man who can’t be trusted, and I let him dominate me, willingly. Knowing full well what the consequences are, I still let it happen. And now I’m faced with the shame.
“Look at yourself, Lillith.”
As my eyes gaze up to meet his, he instructs, “Don’t look away. I want you to look at yourself the entire time. Every second of every single minute of the time I will spend licking, kissing, spanking, sucking, and fucking you. I want you to see the naked truth, Lillith.”
He walks to the side of my head, bends over, and caresses my neck, sliding his finger all the way to my breast, stopping just before my nipple. I suck in a breath, my senses on high alert.
“See how beautiful you are, how much you like this, how badly you crave this.”
He leans in close to my ear, his warm breath hypnotizing. “You’re mine, little fairy, and I will show you how painful love can be.”
He grins when he sees my fearful face. “Don’t be scared. It won’t hurt … that much.”
His words only make me more nervous. I have no clue what he has in mind, which makes my heart go haywire from both terror and excitement.
Sebastian steps back, admiring me from a distance before unbuckling his belt. Pulling his belt through the loops, he keeps his gaze fixated on me, not stopping until it’s dangling in his hands. I frown, licking my lips, biting the bottom one when he steps forward and loosens the button on his pants. He folds the belt, flicking it, the sound making me squirm.
“Oh, no …” I mutter.
“Yes … oh yes,” he says, smiling.
And then he hits my belly with it. I squeal from the pain, which burns through my entire body.
“Scream, little fairy.” He whacks me again, this time hitting my nipple.
I howl in pain. It’s sizzling hot, leaving a red welt on my skin.
“Yes, let it all out,” he says, hitting me again and then again. I squeal each time the belt lands on my body, tears forming in my eyes. I see them fall in the mirror.
“Keep those eyes on the mirror. Do not stop watching yourself. I want you to see yourself break and rebuild by lust and love.”
I squeeze my eyes shut. He hits me again, this time on my other breast. “I can’t!”
“Yes. You. Can.”
Each word is another blow to my body. Tears start trickling down my face. I can’t stop them from flowing; the pain is too much, although I don’t know if it’s from physical or emotional pain. The saltiness stings as much as the sharp licks of leather coming down on my skin. His belt is merciless and so is his determination to push me into a black hole from which there is no return.
I can feel it coming, the endless spiral of hurt that I drown in. Tears fall and shrieks empty from my mouth, filling me with sorrow, regret, and anguish. My eyes open to see my body light up like fireworks. Red lashes cover my body, and I follow the belt as it hits home run. I cry out in pain and see my own swollen eyes narrow and open wide. Pain, release, pain, release. The cycle repeats in my mind and body, the hot flashes forcing me to let go of all the bottled up frustration and hurt.
And then he stops.
Accompanying song: “Monument” by Röyksopp & Robyn
My eyes instinctively follow the belt as he flicks it back and caresses it. His brows draw together while he bites his lip. He doesn’t seem pleased. I wonder if it’s my fault, which makes me question my own sanity. I don’t know why I find it important enough to think about, but I do.