“Maybe … or maybe we’re just two people trying to find a way to live.”
“Maybe …” I squeeze her hand that’s still resting on my cheek. “Or maybe we’re just two people trying to find a way to love and be loved.”
“Maybe …” She smiles, and the way she does sets my heart on fire.
I press my head onto hers, gazing into her eyes, admiring her and reminding myself how precious she is. She’s mine, all mine, and I won’t let her take her own happiness away. I’ll kill myself before I let that happen.
“Everything’s going to be different now, Lillith.”
“Why do you keep calling me that?” she says.
“It’s your name, isn’t it?”
“Yes, but … I don’t know. I’m so used to you calling me Miss Carrigan.” She says it with a husky voice, pretending to be me, which makes me chuckle a little.
“I prefer calling you fairy. My fairy.”
She cocks her head. “It’s strange. Knowing that you did actually come to my room every day in the hospital. That we had … sex.” She blushes. “It’s weird. Like I’m meeting an old friend for the first time again.”
“I’m still me, the same man that I always was. I still have my kinks and I love tying my fairy up. That doesn’t mean that I’m incapable of feeling, though.”
“I know you do,” she says.
“And I know that’s exactly what you need right now.” I press a kiss to her nose. “You’re feeling sad, let me take your sadness away.”
“What?” she mutters, as I kiss her on the chin.
“Give me your fear and I’ll suck it up and spit it out. Give me your anxiety and I’ll break it in pieces. Give me your heart and I’ll cherish it for life.”
“What are you saying?”
I kiss just below her lips, dragging them up until she takes in a short gasp.
“That I’m going to be for you what you need me to be. You need me, someone to control your emotions and fill you with unconditional love. You need someone to take away the scars on your soul with pain. To mend your body with pain. To heal your heart with pain. Pain … and then fucking. I’ll spank you, suck you, slather you with blood, and lick your very skin, fucking you until the night is over. Anything to make you forget.”
“No …” she murmurs as I bite her lip and tug. Her breath comes out in short rasps.
“Yes. It’s what you need. I know it is.” My tongue darts out to lick the seam of her mouth while I palm her cheek. “Say no all you want. I’m going to give you what you need, end of story.”
“No,” she repeats as I plant a short kiss on her lips. Her eyes are already closing and her grasp tightens around my cheek, her fingers digging into my skin as I press another kiss onto her mouth.
“Give in to me, Lillith.” It’s clear as day. Her tears show me that she can’t control her feelings so I will control them for her.
However, her conscience is unbending as always. As I’ve come to expect and grown to love. “No … Stop.”
“I won’t stop.”
I cover her mouth with mine. Her mouth is hot and oh so full of need. Her lips part the moment my tongue coaxes her to open her mouth, and I dip in to lick the roof of her mouth. She responds with equally needy licks, our tongues locked in a furious battle of right and wrong, love and lust, push and pull. Her breath is ragged as I kiss her more ravenously, nibbling at her lips. A light moan escapes her mouth as my fingers find their way to her hair and grasp tight.
A brief moment between the kisses allows for some air. “God, I can’t take my lips off you. Fuck me for being sinful. For being so selfish.”
“I can’t …”
“Shhh …” I peck her on the lips again. Her body arches into mine, her hand now clasped around my neck, pulling me closer.
“Accept me, Lillith. Trust me with your heart.”
“Impossible …” she murmurs between being ravished.
“Only in your head. Let go of it all. Trust your heart.”
“How?” She still kisses me back, despite her constant naysaying. “This isn’t right.”
“Then let us be bad together.”
“Why? Tell me why, Sebastian. Why now?”
“I realized this when I was in my room. There’s no escaping the need, the desire, that kept whispering thoughts into my mind. It’s real, Lillith. I live for you now. I can say it out loud because I’m not afraid of the consequences anymore. I just want you to know that I love you.”
She pulls her swollen lips from mine. “What?” Shaking her head, she refutes, “No, that can’t be.”