“How can you ensure that, when you’re part of the problem?”
I frown. “I refuse to be a part of the problem.”
She laughs, shaking her head. “Impossible.”
“Not for us. Do you remember those nights in the hospital? That was real, Lillith. That was the real me. I do care. I need you. Even if everything that I told you was a lie so that I could keep you safe and away from me, all of that was real.”
I grind my teeth in anger. I’m not angry with her, but with myself. “I tried to make you hate me so that you’d never want to see me again. I did it so you’d be safe. Far away from me, far away from them.”
I gulp in a breath, rage filling my lungs. “But something changed, Lillith. Those days and nights I spent with you changed the very core of my soul. I changed … because of you … for myself … but also for you,” I mutter. My voice is depleting in strength. I’m giving it all up to her, pouring out every inch of my soul, baring my heart.
All she does is blink.
She gazes at the floor and places her hand on the doorknob.
“Goodnight, Sebastian.”
And then she closes the door.
Accompanying song: “Don’t Take Your Love Away From Me” by VAST
30 minutes later
It took me more than twenty minutes to pick up my head from against her door and actually walk away and leave her in peace. I stumble to my room and sit down on my bed, burying my face in my hands, sighing aloud. As if that’s going to rid me of this nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach. All I can think about is being with her, holding her, comforting her, guiding her through her feelings while she tells me all about her thoughts. I want to make it better, want to be that man for her that she dreamed she’d find—the knight on the white horse, a dark prince, the one who’d rescue her from evil.
Turns out, she needed rescuing from me.
I lie down on the bed and ponder about the things that I should’ve done differently. Like that, I shouldn’t have let her leave my side at the charity event. I shouldn’t have continued with my assignment so she wouldn’t need me. How I should’ve forced her to leave instead of taking her into my home. I wish I’d never fallen for her.
My chest hurts like I’m being stabbed with a knife. I place my hand over my heart and feel my own erratic heartbeat. Only now do I realize the uselessness of it all, as I lie on the bed and gaze at the ceiling above me. What we’ve done, the cruelty that sprung from my actions, and that I’ve given her and myself enough pain. Enough is enough. She knows the truth now. I just hope that she can deal with it.
I turn around and face the door. The night has swept over my room, covering it with darkness. The only light left is that of the moon, and it immediately reminds me of her. A tiny, bright speck of light that shines through the darkness and illuminates the raw truth that cannot be unseen. She makes me see. Makes me open my eyes and look upon true beauty. Her. She’s what drives me, what makes me want to fight for all that’s good within me. She makes me whole.
I need her, but I wonder does she need me, too? I wonder if she’s crying right now. She probably is, because I can’t imagine anyone would take well to what she knows. A part of me hopes that she’s fast asleep, giving her mind some rest and time to recuperate, but I know that’s just wishful thinking. I know her well enough by now to know that’s not the case.
What she needs right now is a shoulder to cry on, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let her go through that experience alone. I don’t care if she wants to be alone, I don’t care if I want to give her peace; this is what she really needs.
Within seconds, I am up from my bed and pull open my door. I close the door and start walking. I don’t know what I’m doing or if it’s the right decision; all I know is that it’s something I have to do.
My hand already hovers near her door, attempting to knock, but then I realize that if she actually is sleeping, I will wake her. Instead, I take out the spare key that I received from the hotel staff, unlock the door, and go in.
My eyes widen and my heartbeat spins out of control. I choke on my own breath as I see her sitting on the stone ridge of the balcony, her feet dangling into nothingness.
Her head is down, her red hair cascading down her face. She inches forward.
Then her shoe drops.
And another.
“No!” I yell.
Time has slipped too fast. I can’t lose her. I won’t allow it.
I love her too much for that to happen.
I love her.
I’m about to see the woman I love jump to her death.
Accompanying song: “Don’t Take Your Love Away From Me” by VAST