“Holy crap …” I say, my heart thumping in my throat. I feel like this information is strangling me. It’s scary and yet I need to know more.
“Do you want me to stop?” he asks.
“No, no … I want to know. I should know.” I nod.
“If I continue speaking, does that mean you trust my words?”
I frown, gazing up at him with narrowing eyes. I’m not sure who I can trust anymore. However, if I’m going to learn what happened to us, I’ll have to start trusting somebody’s words. I guess Sebastian is my best bet. After all … he took a bullet for me.
That has to mean something.
“Maybe,” I say.
A victorious smile twinges his lips, making me feel uneasy, but it disappears too quickly for me to ask about it.
“You should’ve never have picked up that phone. I tried to warn you. I knew they were going to use your mother against you, make you come back home so they could take you instead of her …” He sighs. “Your mother was their initial target. Hubert Newman’s target. He became infatuated with her after the party, so much so that he continuously visited her.”
“I remember that,” I mutter. My breath catches in my throat when I think about the memories I have of my mom sitting on the couch with a stranger who called himself Newman.
“Newman,” I repeat.
“Exactly. Hubert Newman was the one who went after your mother, who wanted to ruin her life. It was all part of the book that he was reading. To steal a woman from her husband and―”
“Skip to the part where they go after us, please. I don’t want to hear it.”
He furrows his brows at me, clearly upset that I interrupted him, but he doesn’t say a word. Instead, he clears his throat and continues. “I remember him telling me about you and another girl coming home together very often, going up to your rooms. The way he spoke about you two was like a man obsessed. It didn’t take long for his plan to deviate into something else entirely. I thought that he was after you. I could understand that … you are beautiful beyond belief.”
There’s a glint in his eyes. “When I found out, you had already gone on vacation with your friend. I was ordered to follow you wherever you went, but when I realized they were going to set their plan to kidnap you both into motion, I knew I had to contact you quickly.”
“But without being seen …”
“Right. I couldn’t show myself because that would mean you’d recognize me. You’d be able to point me out as a traitor in front of them.”
“And that would’ve gotten you killed.”
“Yes.”
“But now my mother is dead and you helped kidnap us both.”
He sighs, blowing off some steam while looking the other way. “I know what you’re getting at. And you’re right. I’m a monster. I’ve fucked up. I fucked up a lot of things.”
He looks at me again, his eyes glazy but also filled with fire, as if he could set them ablaze. “But trust me when I say that I want to change it all. It is why I saved you from them, why I claimed you as mine, so they couldn’t touch you. It’s why I took you to the hospital … and why I took you in when you came to find me. I brought you to all those places so you could remember the things that we had done to you. I knew you would one day remember all that I had done, too. I knew it was going to happen.”
“And yet you did it anyway.”
I realize now that, in spite of it all, this is one thing I cannot ignore. He acted out of selflessness. If only once. But it’s enough to crack my icy heart.
“I did it because I care about you. At first, I didn’t want to admit it, but I do. I tried everything to keep you at bay and to tell myself that I didn’t want you, but I do. I fucking need you now.” He grabs my face with both his hands and stares me dead in the eye. “And I’m not going to let you get away. Ever. Again.”
He caresses my cheek with his thumb and leans his forehead against mine. “Tell me what you’re thinking right now.”
“I think that I have no idea what to think right now.”
He laughs. “You’re a bit overwhelmed, which is understandable.”
A tear rolls down my cheeks. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s the stress my body is trying to release through tears.
“I think that you are handling this quite well, actually.”
“Whatever that means right now …” I mumble.
He wipes my tear away with his thumb, his smile slowly disappearing. “I know you probably hate me right now, and you should. I shot those pictures of your friend and kept them in my home so I could show them to you one day. I had always imagined seeking forgiveness for the horrible things I did, and for what they did as well, but never thought it would happen like this. Still, I know nothing that I say will make things right. Which is why I will keep you with me so I can show you that I do care. So you will want me again.”