Seeker (Riders #2)(95)

He breaks into a smile. He's himself again: casually elegant, composed. No trace of the shaken Rael from earlier.

"There you are," he says, standing. "Is this all right? I thought we could eat here. It's more comfortable than the formal dining room."

He's changed into gray slacks and a loose black button-down. He's also bathed-and he looks  …  handsome. I immediately feel stupid for thinking so. First, it's irrelevant. And second, now I feel ridiculous for wearing the same clothes I've worn for a week-and coming down here with wet hair piled in a top knot.

"Of course. This is fine."

He pulls out my chair for me and sits across from me.

"Just about ready," Rayna calls over her shoulder.

"This is going to sound odd, but I feel like I haven't seen you in ages," Rael says. His fingers tap on the stem of a wineglass and I'm reminded of how ancient he is. Maybe ages isn't an exaggeration to him. He must think I'm so young-a child.

"I know. I feel the same way." We've spent a lot of time together over the past three days. Searching for Gideon. Touring Gray Fort. Talking. His company is beginning to feel normal. The time we spent apart just now somehow felt much longer than a couple of hours. That reminds me. "Thank you for trying to find Gideon today. I didn't get a chance to thank you earlier."

"Of course. I'm sorry we didn't find him, but we'll try again tomorrow."

I nod. "That sounds good." All I see are echoes of those golden wings spreading behind him. Had he seen a glimpse of what his future might look like if I let him leave the Rift? Had he seen his "new beginning"?

Rayna lifts a steaming pot off the stove and rushes toward the garden door. "The door, Torin. The door, the door, the door."

We both stop to watch them-two people working as a single entity. One commanding, the other obeying. It's so innocuous. Just part of how they operate. But I think of what Rael's told me about Ra'om. Another command-and-obey duo-but not at all as innocent.

"Do you miss the Kindred?" I ask.

"No."

"None of them?"

"Not at all. We weren't friends, Daryn," he says simply. "We were united by our weakness. I don't miss that. Do you miss home?" 

"Yes. Terribly."

"What is that like? Terrible missing?"

"It's always with you. It never leaves you." It's what I feel for Gideon, too. "Haven't you ever felt that?"

"Not for a person. I feel it for my wings."

I nod, understanding. That's what I saw on his face earlier, exactly. Terrible missing.

We sit in comfortable silence for a moment.

Rayna returns with the now-empty pot. Torin, as usual, trails behind her. "Torin, the pie's going to burn. The pie, the pie, the pie," she says.

"He hears better when you say things in threes," Rael says dryly.

"I do not, Rael," Torin says. He hustles past Rayna to take the pie plate out of the wood-burning oven. It's not burnt. The crust looks golden and crispy.

Rayne slices portions of the chicken pie for us with industrious movements. Everything is a task here. Something to be done that needs to be done again the next day. I'm starting to see why Rael and Bas became so close. Bas, with all his fun and stories, would've provided sorely needed levity.

Steam breaks through the crust of the pie, and the aromas in the kitchen become even more mouthwatering.

As Rael and I eat, Rayna continues to whirl around the kitchen, prepping tomorrow's meals and ordering Torin around.

Rael smiles at me across the table. "Dinner and entertainment," he says.

"I like it, like it, like it," I say.

He grins. "You would have loved Sebastian's take on them."

"I was just thinking about that. And I will love it. I'll ask him about it when I see him again."

Rael nods. "You should." His gaze drops to his food, the unspoken question looming loudly between us.

Will he see Bas again?

I feel my face warm, and my stomach tightens. I set my fork down, the significance of my role hitting me again.

Is he forgivable?

If I'm going to do this, I need to understand better. I need to know more.

I wait until Rayna and Torin excuse themselves for the night. With them gone, the kitchen feels especially quiet. Rael slides his plate away. His expression goes from content to prepared, like he knows what's coming. I feel it, too. Like I'm rolling up my sleeves and getting down to work.

"What made you decide to change?" I ask. "Besides curiosity over Bas?"

He doesn't reply for a long moment. "Do you mind if we walk? I could use some air."

"Great idea." I could use some air, too.

We leave through the garden door and take the path toward the stables. The cool air holds the smell of freshly turned soil. There's no storm tonight or even any clouds, just stars.