"At dawn, with the night's chaos completed, I sat on a rock ledge overlooking the favela, the city lights and the bay spreading below me.
"As I waited for the sun to rise, I had so much anger in my heart I wondered if I might poison myself with my own hatred. I hated what I did and what I was, but I still persisted. I couldn't make myself stop. Even if I'd had the strength of will, Ra'om would've persuaded me to continue in ways so vile and painful, I sincerely hope they're beyond your imagination.
"The sun rose and it didn't assuage the horror inside me, as I'd hoped. I still felt it, destroying my soul. But then I saw a flash of sunlight in the street below me. It reflected off the golden hair of the girl who stands before me now. You, Daryn. You were there."
My breath catches with surprise. I have only been to Brazil once, but I remember it perfectly. And I can't believe that Rael was there. "You saw me?"
"Yes. You came up a dirt alley, and then dipped below a roof where I lost sight of you for a moment. Then you emerged again holding a small child at your hip. For a moment I thought you were a kidnapper. But I've seen this type of human, and though they take every shape, it didn't seem right. Perhaps that's why I followed you. Perhaps it's why I tried delving into your mind. I couldn't do it. And at that moment, of course, I knew you were a Seeker.
"In truth, I debated putting an end to your life. Daryn-I say this because I want you to know the full extent of what I was. Fueled by fear and hatred. But, for reasons that are beyond me, I did not. I followed you instead.
"You took the little girl to a cafe. There were dried tracks of tears on her grimy face. She did not speak English, and you did not speak Portuguese, but as I recall, you both spoke the language of sweets. You bought her some kind of fruit tart. Then some kind of pastry dusted with sugar. Then some kind of fried dough concoction. You wiped the girl's mouth with a napkin and smiled at her. You played a game, having her guess which of your hands held a coin. Very soon, perhaps partly because of the extreme quantities of sugar flooding her very small system, she was belly laughing. When you were finished, you took her right back to where you found her and, in that instant, on that little girl's face, I saw pure and unbridled happiness."
"She was precious. I remember her, too. I fell in love with her in that hour. Why are you telling me this?"
"You gave her more than a moment of happiness that day-you gave her hope that she could carry as long as she wished. Perhaps I'm wrong, but … Seeking is as much about keeping hope as it is about finding. Giving hope, sustaining it-what Seeking could be done without that? You gave that little girl hope, and you've done so for me as well. So. If you're getting that part right most of the time, which I know you are, then you're a very good Seeker indeed. And," he adds, tipping his head, "we will find him."
A massive wave of gratitude sweeps over me and, for an instant, I glimpse the glory of what he once was. Feeling the impulse to hug him, I step forward before I realize what I'm doing and stop myself.
Rael's back straightens suddenly in surprise. A warm amber light glows behind him, brightening. Huge golden wings unfurl at his back, ten feet high or more. They brush past branches as they open, fanning wide.
Even in the fading daylight, they're brilliant.
Majestic.
Stunning.
The look on Rael's face as he sees them is utter disbelief.
But the wings begin to rain gold feathers as soon as they're fully extended. They flutter down one by one, then by the dozen. In seconds, there's nothing left at his back. The wings are no more than piles of feathers melting into the dirt by his feet, disappearing.
I don't dare say a word.
Silently, we mount up and ride back to Gray Fort.
I glance at him as the last of the day's light leaves the woods.
His face is pale and his eyes are distant.
He was trying to cheer me, but something far more profound just happened to him, and I can tell he needs time to absorb its impact.
Rael is shaken to the core.
* * *
I'm still thinking about his reaction as I submerge into the bath one last time. The water has been lukewarm for a while and my fingers are shriveled, but I feel reinvigorated. If Rael is right and Seeking is about keeping hope alive, then I can do that. I pull myself out of the tub, dress, and head downstairs.
The sound of conversation leads me to the kitchen. I find Rayna and Torin busy with food preparation. Rael is in there, too. Sitting at the farm table at the center of the room as he talks to them. I hear Sebastian's name from his lips, his voice jovial, like he's reminiscing about his friend, but he falls silent when he sees me.