Seeker (Riders #2)(76)

For the first time, I feel like having lost the Sight is a blessing. I'm not a Seeker-and I've been seeing that as a lack. A failure. But what if it's not? What if it's a gift?

If I'm not a Seeker, I can reclaim my life.

I'm ready for that.

I want it.

* * *

To everyone's surprise except Sebastian's, the terrain actually starts to vary from the uniform and endless woods we've traveled.

We ride past glades and streams, shimmering with life. Rock clusters and shrubs, nestled together. We cross another burnt field with the dead trees, this one vast.

As we rise in elevation, riding uphill, we gain views of the endlessness of the forest ahead and behind us. In the distance, we see a pale ridge against a hazy white sky, like mountains cut from tracing paper.

Bas informs us this is our destination. Gray Fort is in those mountains.

Mom's white flowers are nearly ever-present. Sometimes they're already there as we ride past. Other times they bloom from the ground and open like anemones.

Nothing is surprising anymore.

I choose to take it as a good sign. I imagine that when I see the flowers, it means Mom is thinking of me at that very second, just as I'm thinking of her.

At sunset, we camp again and the mood is subdued. Tomorrow we'll be entering an area rife with Harrows. We'll see Samrael. And the underlying tension between Gideon and Bas is something we all feel. It only makes our group more somber.

A strained relationship between them is the last thing I'd have expected.

Gideon's relationship with Jode is a battle of dry humor. A sarcasm cage match. And they're both unapologetically competitive with each other. But there's respect between them, too. I think Gideon admires Jode's intellect, while Jode admires Gideon's decisiveness.

With Marcus, Gideon has a friendship with roots down to the earth's core. You can feel the bond between them. I've seen them look at each other and laugh for no apparent reason, like they're picking up on a frequency the rest of the world misses.

But with Bas, there was always noise. Buoyant, good-humored noise in the shape of stories, jokes, pranks, laughter. In the fall, Bas and Gideon entertained each other constantly and that entertained the rest of us. The absence of this feels conspicuous. The lack of their noise is loud.

Adding to my sour mood is the fact that I spent the day watching Bas ride Shadow. It was amazing to see-I've wanted to see it for so long-but the loss is beginning to hit me. For the time Bas was in here, she was mine. And I love her.

As soon as I have the thought, Shadow turns from where she stands with the other horses and looks at me.

I think she knows how I feel. I think she feels it, too.

With a fire started and food consumed, sleep is the next step. I know this routine. We've done days of this.

I'm about to lay my head on my backpack when Jode says, "Daryn? You're not sleeping yet, surely?"



       
         
       
        

I push myself back up. A quarter of my brain is already shutting down. "What? Why?"

"The list! Don't deprive me. I've been waiting all day for it. Give us the List of Life."

"Yes," Bas says, breaking into his first smile of the day. "We have to keep going. We're on seventy-three, right?"

We are. I bring out the notebook and toss it to Marcus, looking forward to more of his beautiful penmanship in my journal.

Marcus sits up and flips it open.

"Your turn, Gideon," Bas says. "We all added to it last night. You're next."

Gideon frowns, and I know why. It feels like Bas just offered him an olive branch.

"Okay." Gideon shrugs. He looks at me. At first he seems annoyed. Then I see the slightest glimmer of mischief light up his eyes. "Daryn and I have an announcement to make. It's really early for this, but we're excited about it, and  …  what the heck. Let's just tell them, don't you think?"

"Oh, definitely," I say, though I have no idea what he's up to.

"Great." His big hand swallows mine in a warm grasp and he turns back to the guys. "Sometime later this year  …  well, in a few months I should say, since we're not sure about the timing. But in a few months something really special is going to happen and we want you to be the first to know about it. The three of you. So, in a few months, like I said, we're going to have a … " He bows his head, resting his forehead on the back of my hand. "Sorry. I'm really emotional about this."

"The acting," Jode says. "Macbeth never felt this torment."

"So bad," Marcus says, shaking his head.

"Shh, you guys. I like this," Bas says. "Keep going. What happens in a few months?"