It offends me, actually.
How are they having fun? How are they forgetting that Samrael is a demon? That he mind-tortured me and maimed me? Why is letting him out of here even up for discussion?
"You get ten spots if you want, Bas! Here, you write them."
Daryn's voice rises loud enough for me to hear her. It sounds like they're indoctrinating Sebastian into "Reasons."
I want one good reason to stay here that's not totally insane. I mean-Samrael. We're exposing ourselves to this interactive psychosis sphere because of him?
Riot makes a soft sound, bobbing his head.
You should go back there, Gideon. I know you want to. I want to go, too.
"Doesn't matter, Riot. If I hear his name-Samrael-or wait, Rael-one more time, I'll go supernova. I will lose my shit."
Well, that's not good. Okay. Let's stay.
The hours roll by. I sit against a tree and come up with no solutions as it grows quiet around the fire. I've just settled into a zone where I'm half asleep when I see Daryn walking toward me.
She sits right beside me. "Hey, Riot."
I have to smile. It's awesome that she thinks of him first. He thinks so, too.
"How are you doing?" she asks, bumping me with her elbow.
"Really great. You?"
"Not great at all."
She rests her head on my shoulder and loops her arm through mine. Just having her near makes me feel better. I don't want to spoil the moment by bringing Samrael up, but I can't stop myself. "I've decided to knock Bas out and carry him out of here unconscious. Good plan, don't you think?"
"Not if you want to keep your friendship with him. I don't think he'd forgive you for doing that. He's pretty set, Gideon."
"I'm pretty set, too."
"I know."
I push out a breath, trying to loosen the knot in my chest. "So what's next, Martin? Where do we go from here?"
"Bas wants to take us all back to where they've been staying. It's a fortified settlement he calls Gray Fort."
"Sounds fun."
"He thinks if we talk to Samrael and listen to what he has to say, we'll see."
"Where to aim our arrows and blades?"
"Gideon, what Bas is saying matches up to what Samrael said to me the first time I saw him. He wanted to take me to Bas. He offered protection. Safety. I didn't believe him at the time. But if I had, maybe this could have all been avoided. Maybe Low wouldn't have died, and we wouldn't-"
"No. You did the right thing."
She raises her head. "How can you be sure? What if Bas is right and Samrael has changed?"
"It sounds like you're trying to defend the guy who cut off my hand."
"No. I'm not. But I want to go home. I want to bring Bas home. I want us all to get out of here. I want to do the right thing, even if it's really hard, and I don't see any alternative here. People make mistakes. They deserve second chances. If I didn't believe that, then I would never have the courage to go back home. I need to believe my parents and my sister will forgive me for leaving them. Haven't you ever wanted to change something you did or said? Make up for it?"
All the damn time, I think. She's got me. I excel at losing my temper and doing or saying something I have to try to patch up later. War is not who I am, it's my vice. It's what I deal with daily. "All right. People deserve second chances. But do demons?"
"Demons were angels once. Samrael was a servant of God. A direct servant. I can't imagine feeling greater regret than turning away from that."
Another good point.
Why is she making so many good points?
"Do you have any idea what he took from me, Daryn? I've never hated anything as much as him. I'll kill him before I give him a second chance."
"You think killing him would make you feel better?"
"Absolutely."
"What about your dad? He died but you still love him, don't you?"
I don't like where this is going. "Of course."
"So it's transcended death. You could say the love you feel is eternal."
"You could say that."
"Why do you think your hate would be any different? If love transcends death, why doesn't hatred?"
"Because Samrael deserves to die and my dad didn't."
Daryn stares at me. "I don't think killing Samrael would rid you of the hatred. I think all you'd be doing is adding layers of guilt. I know you. You're not cold-blooded."
Bastian's words shoot through my mind. You only justify it by saying it's for the right reason. "You're giving me too much credit."
"I'm not. You have a big heart and a big conscience."