Seeker (Riders #2)(16)

An ache moves down my throat, like the scents I'm breathing and can't get enough of are poisonous.

Shit, this is intense.

The mirror over the dresser has papers taped and tacked around the edges of the frame. Some are paintings made on colored paper, clearly done by little kids. Mostly versions of the same thing. Kids holding Daryn's hand as they ride horses. Unicorns riding through fluffy clouds. Pretty cute, actually. One in particular. Stealing goes against my moral code, but I'm tempted to swipe the one of Daryn riding a winged horse over a rainbow. Pure awesome.

There are also lined notebook pages covered in handwriting I recognize as Daryn's. I read the first one that catches my eye. The title at the top reads, "Blue."

mind and heart at war

for war

sky blue above me

inside me

my mind is mine

my wild heart is not

blue is what you are

darken

surround me

A shudder rolls through me. I step back, shaking out my shoulders. Step in and read it again.

This is about me, right? It's definitely about me.

But what does it mean?

"G, there's some-" Marcus freezes at the door when he sees me. 

I back away from the dresser again, busted for I don't know what. Feeling a shitload of confusing feelings. "What's up?"

"Jode just called. He's on his way with Daryn's friend, Isabel. He said she thinks your hunch was right and Daryn went after Bas. One other thing. There's a stable out back. I went out there to check for Shadow but … "

"No Shadow."

Marcus shakes his head. "Daryn must've taken her. We found some tracks leading away from the stable heading east."

Bad news on top of bad news but my mind's only on what's next. "I'll take Riot and go follow them." I head for the door.

Marcus doesn't step aside. "You can't."

"There's no one around for miles."

He just looks at me, still not moving out of the way. I haven't ridden Riot outdoors since the fall. Cordero's too paranoid. A burning horse is hard to miss. Especially at night. "Cordero's sending a drone up to take a look. Nothing for you to do." His eyes narrow. "Take a walk or something, man."

He's right-I need to chill-but I don't love being called out on it. "You know what, Marcus? I think I'll take a walk."

He finally clears the doorway. "Do that."

I head outside, passing Ben, Soraya, and Sophia, well entrenched behind half a dozen laptops at the tiny kitchen table, through the living room where Cordero, Low, and Suarez are staring at a screen that shows the drone's feed. As I stride past them, I'm conscious of the moment of silence I generate in my wake.

In the short time I've been inside, Cordero's had the team set up floodlights around the cabin. They illuminate a hundred yards of slanting rain and muddy fields but come nowhere close to reaching the edges of the property.

I hop down the porch and walk toward the river, my mind jumping from one thought to the next. From confusing poems to frustrating actions.

Knowing that Daryn went after Bas alone is maddening. If she gets hurt or somehow fails it wouldn't just be Sebastian we'd lose. It would be her. It would be any chance of ever finding either of them. Worst possible outcome.

I'm almost at the stable when movement to my right makes me jump a foot in the air. Luckily, I stop myself short of summoning my sword and swinging.

Maia, our sniper, is lying on bales of hay covered by a plastic tarp.

"Hey, Blake! Sorry, didn't mean to scare ya." She lifts the tarp so I can see her. "Chill-out walk?"

"I've been told I need it."

Maia tilts her head like she's listening for something. She has a half-eaten granola bar in one hand, the other curled around an M24. Maia in a nutshell, right there. "Yeah," she says, "you do."

I shrug. "Yep." I'm not apologizing every time I get worked up. It would never end. Not that it happens all that much anymore. I've been pretty chill for a long time. Until very, very recently. After Marcus's graduation from Ranger School about a week ago, I couldn't shake off how close Daryn had been and how I didn't see her. I guess I got angry. I guess it affected Maia. She ended up breaking up with her girlfriend in a superheated phone call, which we all heard. In the food warehouse, everyone could hear everything. Maia told me she'd had it coming but I know it was partly my fault.

"It's amazing out here, isn't it?" she says. "I love this state."

"Yeah. Amazing." My answer doesn't sound sarcastic, surprisingly.

"Bleh." She frowns at her hand. "I took one of your granola bars by accident. These taste like birdshit, Blake. How do you eat these?"