"That simple?"
"That simple. Believe me. Trust me. Or don't."
Samrael squares himself to her, to us. He laughs, but it's a bitter sound. Then his eyes move to me. I brace myself, but when he reaches into my head, there's nothing I can do.
Hello, Gideon. I've guessed right, then. She's telling me the truth.
He withdraws just as suddenly. I don't even move a muscle.
He cheated. He peeked at the cards. The Gideon on the conjured side would have no thoughts. He knows I'm real. And, of course, the real Daryn will be on the same side as me.
But she has to have foreseen this, hasn't she?
The smile on his face disappears.
"I know which side is freedom," he says to Daryn. "And I choose against it."
He takes a step backward, away from us.
CHAPTER 45
DARYN
Rael takes a step away, choosing not to believe me.
Choosing to go back into the Rift.
Something crumbles inside me. I run for him, stopping at the barrier. "Rael!"
We stand on opposite sides, barely two feet apart. I can't hold the porthole open anymore. It's pulling at me, tearing at me. The desert behind Rael melts away. The Gideon and Riot I conjured. Everything I created begins to fade as the Rift returns.
The stone house appears again. The garden. The orchard and the paths that wander all over the hilltop. The Harrows, awaiting their next command.
"You really would have let me go," Rael says.
"Yes. I would have."
His smile holds lifetimes of sorrow.
I don't understand, and the pull to leave the Rift is breaking me. I can't hold this together anymore, the weight of worlds and souls and of the endless, endless sadness I feel for him. "Why are you staying?"
"Because it's better if I do. Better for all of the innocents I'd have harmed."
"You wouldn't have." But I know he's telling me the truth. "So this is self-sacrifice?"
"Atonement," he says. "Perhaps redemption." Rael takes another step backward. "Or perhaps, keeping hope alive. Thank you, Daryn."
"You're thanking me?"
He nods, his green eyes glimmering. "For showing me that deserving trust and forgiveness is worth more than having them."
Behind me, Gideon yells for me to come with him, but I can't leave Rael yet. His smile is heartbreaking. He is heartbreaking. "Go," he says. "Your life awaits. And, Daryn? I'll miss you. Terribly."
The portal pulls me in, my hold breaking. Brightness flashes, like the snap of a band, and I'm blind for long seconds, caught in a turbulence that reaches into my bones and rattles my ribs together.
Then stillness comes, and I find myself clinging to dusty earth. Holding on to it like I'll be swept out to sea if I let go.
The Nevada desert appears with its black mountain ranges framing the edges of the blue night. I blink at the disorientation, the rush of feeling that's sweeping over me.
A white spot of light sits on the horizon. Our camp. Where Ben will be. Maia, Cordero, and all the others.
The playa is beautiful under the light of a trillion stars.
Gideon is with the guys. They've dismounted and stand together, waiting for me.
I wonder how long I've been here. I wonder if I asked for some time to myself, some space. I think I might have.
There is no more orb. I look for where it should be, hovering in the air before me, but my eyes pull up to the stars. To all the infinite possibilities. Infinite creations.
Rael.
As I think of him, I feel awed and inspired.
If evil is its own undoing, I think, then good can be self-generating.
He did a great and selfless good tonight.
I pull myself to my feet. Gideon walks up and pulls me into a hard hug that lasts and lasts.
He steps back. "What's next?" he asks, with a soft smile.
"I think I'm actually going to stay here a little while longer."
He nods. "Okay."
I watch him rejoin the guys. Then I see Bas swing up behind Jode. Bas lifts a hand, and they ride off toward the beacon light of base camp.
Shadow ambles over to me. Long legs, all grace.
Alone, I feel the toll inside me. I know I won't ever forget Rael. And I won't ever forget the extraordinary power I had for a brief time. But I'm not powerless.
Every second, I choose who I am. I have the power to be hopeful, or trusting, or forgiving. Every second, I can create a Reason.
I pat Shadow's velvety neck, feeling her warmth and her reassuring breaths. "We did it, girl. We brought Bas home." Then I look up to find the star where a fallen angel is suffering. I think I find it.
I must, because I feel hope.
I swing into the saddle and take up the reins. "Okay, girl. Let's go home."
CHAPTER 46
GIDEON
"Where's Gideon? Has anyone seen Gideon?"
The voice sends a bolt of panic through me. Marcus splits into a grin as I shoot behind the pool house, hopefully out of sight.