In my peripheral vision, I see his extended hand. An offering.
The orb.
He's giving me the orb.
"I took this. The day we went into the Harrows' camp. I knew you placed it into the hollow of the tree, and I took it." He tips his chin. "Please. Take it."
I take it. I hold it in both of my hands like it's a bird that might fly away.
"I have not been honest with you," he repeats, "and this is only the beginning. I have more to tell you. If you choose to hear me, stay. Be here tonight, and I will tell you all of it. Everything. If you're gone, I won't fault you. I've wronged you time and again. I only hope there's still some forgiveness left in your heart for me."
He slips past me-but then stops and quickly brushes a kiss on my cheek. "Regardless of what you decide, thank you."
He leaves then, abandoning me to my thoughts. Maybe he thinks the solitude up here will help. The time to consider what he just told me. It won't help.
You're too late, Rael.
I don't believe you anymore.
I count to a hundred, and then head back inside. Down one flight of stairs, then another. Walking almost normally, despite my urge to flee this place immediately.
I don't see Rael anywhere in the house. I don't see anyone-not even Rayna, who's usually in the kitchen at this time, preparing the evening meal. It's unusual, and makes me suspicious, but I don't hesitate or slow down. I head right to the cellar door and heave it open, then plunge inside.
Triumph and relief wing into my chest as I sprint through the corridor toward Gideon's cell. My mind churns through my next steps.
Escape through tunnels. Open portal. Go home.
Turning the last corner, I race to his cell.
It's empty.
He isn't here.
Despair hits me, savagely.
Have I been abandoned? Did he leave me behind?
Echoes of past pain roll through me. But it can't be. Gideon would never.
So … did Samrael somehow learn that I found Gideon down here? Has he taken Gideon somewhere else?
Has he had Gideon killed?
I don't know what to think.
I can't think, with fear racing through my mind.
I spin and run back through the corridors. Up to the kitchen. Through the foyer and outside. Churning my legs down the path that follows the creek. Running away from reality, from the miserable unreality of the Rift. I don't stop until I've reached the pool where Rael and I came that first day when it rained.
Tears sting my eyes as I look at the begonias. At how they surround me.
It's been me. I've created them.
Suddenly I want more. Need more. An escape from the despair and loneliness.
I reach for the water, finding it in my mind.
The connection is so strong, so easy to achieve. Like hearing a musical note and adding my own, harmonizing. Then I'm leading the way and creating the melody.
The surface of the water ripples and leaps to life in hundreds of thousands of droplets. They bind together, shaping into butterflies. Butterflies made of water, wings fluttering and shimmering like glass. I make them rise and soar, schooling like fish over the water; I lose myself in their beauty.
Then I have an idea. I bring them together, combining them, and create Shadow-a crystal image of Shadow galloping over the water, her hooves kicking up splashes. I hear myself laugh. It's effortless. Pure delight. Heady, to have so much power. Electrifying.
I bring Shadow to me and reach out, feeling rippling water instead of her silky black coat.
The limit of what I can do is a distant line. I'm nowhere close to it. I could turn this pond into almost anything I can imagine.
But it's not costless. Inside, I feel a darkening, like I'm losing part of myself. Now that I know this power, how will I ever unknow it?
Suddenly, a fear hits me that I'll need it. That I won't be able to resist it.
I make Shadow rear up, sending her front hooves high in the air.
Beautiful, I think.
Terrifying.
CHAPTER 42
GIDEON
"Dusk, then?" Bas says.
"The light will be to our best advantage," Jode says. "With our horses, the long shadows and slanting rays will provide the best camouflage we're likely to get. It might not make much difference. Then again, it might make all the difference. And if we get in and out quickly enough, we'll have a good chance of avoiding the Harrows. It's our best chance." He looks at me.
I nod. "Agreed."
Bas gives us the layout of Gray Fort, using a piece of charcoal to scratch the floor plan on one of the walls. He makes his best guesses as to where Daryn might be, and the orb. And he describes the single entry point through the wall-a gatehouse with a lone guard.
"What's inside?" I ask him. "We get through the wall, then what will we see?"