Seeing Red(38)

“Hmm.” She strode into the master bathroom and flicked on the light, turning on the faucet before responding. “You’re welcome to half the bed, Seth.”

If only accepting the offer were possible. To be so close and be chaste? Not touch? He’d take his chances on the floor.

A few moments later, Meg stepped out, drying her washed face on a hand towel and stopping just in front of his toes. She whispered, “You know, nights you’re not here, Toby asks where you are. He wanted to know if you had a job like Spike’s where you’d never be here.”

Acid rose in Seth’s chest, and he had to swallow before taking a bolstering breath. “And what did you tell him?”

“Told him you have a house in Fayetteville and that your job is there. Told him we haven’t figured out what to do about that yet.”

Truthful enough, he figured.

“He’s always sad when you’re not here for dinner. I think he’d started getting used to it, and then you skipped out on us for Cuban food…”

Ouch. “Sometimes I feel like I’m in the way. I didn’t want to—”

She put up her hands, quieting him. “I understand. You’re tied in tight with everyone but me. Funny how that worked out over all these years.”

“You were always kind of separate.”

She nodded and, to his surprise, took a seat next to him on the bench. “Yeah. I blame myself for that. Before I got married, Sharon, Carla, and I were pretty much inseparable. If there was spare time to be had, we’d be doing something together. And then Spike came along, and I let him dictate where I should and shouldn’t be. I had to lie about where I was. Who was around me. He wanted to isolate me and trot me out only when it was convenient. I didn’t understand at the time that what he was doing was a form of abuse, but he was supposed to be my one great love, and it all fell apart spectacularly. I realized something was really wrong the more I observed Sharon and Ashley. They’re together, but autonomous. Even with Ariel to take care of and her job, Sharon always managed to find time to fret about me.”

“She frets about everyone.”

Meg pointed to him, then herself. “Hence us. And I hated Grant for a long time for taking Carla away from me. I wanted them to fail so badly so she’d come back, but he’s so good for her. Good to her. After a while I realized I was jealous of what they’ve built. Wanted it for myself, but…you can’t build a foundation on quicksand.”

Seth’s heart felt heavy, cold in his chest as if the blood in it were too thick to pump. Could it be that this one he’d thought had it all together was really no better off than him emotionally?

“I feel like I’m back in the world now with Spike gone, and I have you to thank for it. I’m just normal Meg, married to a normal guy. No one’s pitying me anymore. Mocking me. Chastising me. The public doesn’t care about me anymore, besides my neighbors.” She rolled her eyes. “I think I can move on. Figure out where I’m going to be five years from now.”

Seth had his own thinking to do in that regard. In five years, he would be well entrenched in midlife. On the down slope of his life, even. Likely harboring lots of regrets.

“I don’t know if I’ve said it before, but, I want to thank you for doing this for me. You can’t be getting much out of this sham, but I’ve evaluated some things in my life, and made some changes I should have a long time ago,” she said.

“You’re welcome. I’m glad to help, even for a short while.”

Her forehead furrowed, lips parted, and he braced himself for the kind let-down, but whatever she was going to say was preempted by a loud crash of thunder very near the building, followed immediately by the lights popping off.

They waited in the quiet a moment for the power to return, for the air conditioner’s hum to resume, but after two minutes or so, Seth knew they’d be in the dark for a while.

Quiet permeated the condo. There were no cries out from sleeping Toby, and Seth knew from his conversations with Mr. Scott that both Meg’s parents slept with earplugs. One ground teeth in sleep; the other snored.

Meg’s breath was the only sound worth noting. It’d become choppy. Loud. And she was practically in his lap, her body thrumming with panic.

He wrapped a tentative arm around her in the dark and whispered in Russian, “What’s wrong, kitten?”

She just shook, not understanding, but he hadn’t really expected her to.

Was it the dark? The rain?

“It was very close, the thunder, huh?”

She nodded against his shoulder. “I think lightning grounded down the side of the building. That’s happened a few times. Always freaks me out.”