Seduction:Her British Stepbrother(18)

"Why did your mother bring you here and not somewhere else?"

"My father said and did many things that hurt my mother. I was only a  lad, but I knew she needed peace and quiet so she could … recover. There  was something about the flowers that soothed her."

A pit dropped into Kat's stomach. "He didn't hurt her … physically, I mean. Did he?"

Tristan captured a lock of her hair and spooled it around one finger,  studying the strands as though they held the secrets of the universe.

"No. But some words hurt as much or more than physical blows. He made it  clear that she was a disappointment, that she wasn't loved. Words like  that can be devastating."

The way he said it made her wonder if he'd been a victim of his father's  vicious words, as well. He seemed to have too much familiarity with  that sort of pain.                       
       
           



       

Kat moved cautiously toward Tristan, checking to make sure no little  winged passengers were between them. Then she wrapped her arms around  him in a fierce embrace. She held on as though she'd lose him at any  minute. She let every warm, soft feeling and healing thought pour out of  her into him. When his arms wound around her, just as strong, she  nuzzled his chest, breathing in the scent she'd come to recognize as his  clean aftershave, with a hint of pine and mint, and the warm, dark  scent of man.

"What are you doing to me, Kat?" Tristan's voice was low and a little  rough, and his arms were tight around her body as though he were afraid  to let her go. "I can't see my future without you in it and I know I  can't keep you, not forever, but I want to. If you want me, I would give  everything I am to be with you. Do you understand? Everything." His  eyes glowed with tenderness, passion, and something so deep and soft it  shook her to the core. It couldn't be love-he didn't love her-but he was  gazing at her like that and it … She gave herself a little shake, trying  to think.

"Me? What about you?" she murmured. "I didn't want to like you this  much. I didn't want to-" Unable to finish where that terrifying thought  might be headed, she gently pushed away from him and wiped at her eyes.  With a few shaky steps, she put space between them and pretended to  study the butterflies wafting about the air before they landed on  flowers.

It gave her the chance to think without losing herself in the comfort of  his arms. One of them had to be reasonable enough to see that this  couldn't go on between them. It wasn't simply because their parents were  getting married. It was painfully clear that Tristan's path in life  would take him far away from her.

I'm just a little nobody, an American, not a woman trained from birth to  be the wife of a titled peer. I wouldn't know the first thing about  being with him … not in the way I'd want to be.

"You're right. We have to decide what we're going to do," Tristan said.

When she turned to look at him, she nearly jumped. He was close again,  right behind her, hunger and hope in his heated gaze. She placed a hand  on his chest. "I need a little time."

His shoulders sagged, and he nodded, his brows knitting together and his  lips wilting from the hopeful smile. Tristan clenched his fists and  stared at a passing butterfly as though it could cure him of his lust.

"Maybe we should go home," she suggested.

"Maybe we should," he echoed. There was a hollowness to his tone that created a black, aching hole in her chest.

They left the gardens and crossed the snow-covered grounds again,  silence settling between them like thick London fog. With each step, her  heart turned inside out. Each splinter of pain tore into her until she  couldn't breathe.

Tristan stared out the window as the cab he'd hailed pulled away from  the curb. The distance between them was so wide that Kat wanted to crawl  across the seat and cuddle up next to him. She wanted to be with him  now, wanted to be in his arms and in his bed, but the cost to his future  was too high.

The ride back to the town house seemed too long, and yet not long  enough. Her mind had gone over a hundred options of how to make things  work with Tristan, but there didn't seem to be any good solutions.

If we can just survive the holidays, we'll go back to school and  probably not see each other. Then, after a few months, our desire for  each other will have to cool, won't it?

As the cab pulled up in front of the town house, Lizzy appeared in the  doorway. When they got out of the cab and walked up the steps, Kat  noticed that Lizzy's eyes were red. She sniffed but held her chin up  bravely. Clayton stood behind her, his expression a thunderous one Kat  had never seen before.

"Mum?" Tristan moved straight to her, and Kat followed, as they all  walked back into the house. "What's the matter?" he asked, glancing  suspiciously at Kat's father, who held up his hands in surrender.

Lizzy sighed. "It's your father. You have to go to him tonight."

It took a moment for Lizzy's words to sink in. Tristan had to leave? Tonight?

"I promised I'd stay with you, Mum." Tristan didn't glance at Kat, but she felt his attention on her all the same.

She shook her head. "He wants you with him for the rest of the holidays."

"Mum, I don't have to-"

"You do." She sniffed. "I'm so sorry, Tristan. I had really hoped we  could have this first Christmas together, all of us." Lizzy shared a sad  little smile with Kat and reached for Clayton's hand, squeezing his  fingers as they touched.                       
       
           



       

Kat understood that desire for physical comfort all too well. The thought of Tristan leaving made her want to cling to him.

For a long moment, Tristan didn't say a word, then he shoved his hands into his pockets and nodded as though making a decision.

"I suppose I ought to go, then." He let his mother kiss his cheek, then  he ascended the stairs at a quick pace, leaving them all behind.

Leaving was a solution to their dilemma, but it left her feeling raw and hollow.

"I'm so sorry, Kat. Please excuse me." Lizzy covered her mouth with the back of her hand and blinked away tears.

"It's okay," Kat assured her, touching Lizzy's arm. Something about  seeing Tristan's mother upset made her upset, too. "It would've been  nice for all of us to be together for Christmas, but we'll have next  year." She meant it. It was strange to have someone who cared about  wanting to be around her, other than her dad, of course, but she liked  being wanted.

Lizzy managed a smile, and Kat saw her dad frowning out of the corner of her eyes.

"I just wish Tristan's father wasn't such a … "

"Bully?" Kat replied without thinking. Heat rushed to her cheeks, and she glanced down. "Sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

"No," Lizzy straightened her shoulders. "You're right. The man is a  bully. He heard about Clayton and me this morning, and it's made him  furious."

"Tristan is an adult and can just say no, can't he?"

Lizzy clasped her hands, clenching her fingers tight. "It's not that  simple. Tristan's father wields a lot of power, not just in politics,  but in our lives. He pays for Tristan's schooling and his lifestyle.  He's threatened to take all of that away if Tristan won't comply."

Kat's insides froze, and she shivered. "I can't imagine Tristan letting  anyone force him to do something he doesn't want to do." She didn't want  to know how Tristan was under his father's thumb, but she needed to  know.

"It's complicated to explain, but part of it is that Tristan cares about  everyone who works on the estate, especially Carter and his father,  John Martin. Edward might fire John just to upset Tristan because it  would force Carter to leave the estate as well, and he could deprive  them of references to make it harder for them to find employment. It's  medieval, but Edward is capable of much worse if he deems it necessary."

Someone would do that? How was it even possible that someone would be so cruel? No wonder Tristan despised his father.

"Lizzy, sweetheart, why don't we go to the kitchen for some hot cocoa  and tea?" Her father curled an arm around Lizzy's waist and kissed her  forehead, the act intimate and loving. He really does love her. Kat  swallowed past the lump in her throat. Tristan kissed me like that only  an hour ago … The flood of warmth inside her chest at the memory was soon  torn apart. He was leaving her.

"Do you like tea?" Lizzy asked her, holding out a hand. Kat took it. "If  not, we've plenty of cocoa. I find your father's sweet tooth  endearing."

Clayton chuckled. "There's nothing wrong with a man admitting he likes  sweet things, daughter and future wife included." He winked at Kat.