Information on Faolán was almost non-existent and it worried me more than the Mages, backed by Danu’s husband did.
Watching Ryder as he countered each attack on the Horde Kingdom had given me both comfort and an uneasiness that I couldn’t explain. Knowing he was strong enough to protect our children was comforting; on the other hand, I knew that if I ran from him, there was no one who could protect me from him—not even Danu could achieve that, based on the rules that governed her powers, even though he was one of her many creatures. Not that I was planning to run; it wouldn’t be an option even if I considered it. Knowing Ryder’s power and the strength of the Horde Kingdom didn’t give me as much comfort, for I knew that most castles and powerful dynasties such as this one usually fell from within. It was one of the problems in this world—everyone wanted to rule it.
Ryder’s schedule was so busy that I saw him only for a short time each day. Between the intelligence he was assessing and the clamoring of the Castes for the attention of the new Horde King, our time together had become precious. Although I knew he cared and I had no doubts about how much he wanted me, it was almost like a stall in our relationship. Nothing had progressed as I had hoped now that he’d been freed from his engagement.
As the babes grew, so did my insecurities. I wanted Ryder to love me for myself and not for what I’d been designed for. Danu had explained that our never ending attraction and the need to rip each other’s clothing off every time we’d been close to one another was in fact the design at work. It made sense, and it scared me. I’d never been one to be so sexually active, or to need it on an obsessive level as I had since meeting him.
I held on to the knowledge of who my mother really was, and the secrets behind my birth, in hopes that he would give me a sign or the answers I needed, but with each passing day, nothing changed on his part. I was so big with the babies that all I could do at this point was waddle, and it only added on to the insecurities I held for my future.
As a strong person, it was painful to know that I needed him, and that I wanted him. I still held the belief that if I ever left him, I would be on my hands and knees crawling away from this magnificent man and beast who’d claimed me, body and soul. I was his, as he’d repeatedly told me from day one. He’d claimed me as his plaything, in more ways than I’d ever thought possible.
I never thought that I would become this needy female who had to have a man, but Ryder was so much more. He’d pierced my heart and when I needed him to be strong so I could be weak, he was. When I thought I would go boneless with worry, he became the bones which held me up. It was hard to admit it, but I wasn’t the same girl I’d once been. I was no longer an Enforcer; I was his light, and he was my darkness.
Dristan and Sinjinn were on guard duty this evening. Although they tried to make it seem as if they were just hanging out with me—yes, hanging out with little ol’ me; the entire concept of me hanging out with the Fae was still sometimes comical, considering how much I’d hated them once upon a time. We had settled into another round of Monopoly to pass the never ending hours. Yes, they’d secured a few board games, because Adrian had mentioned how much I liked to play them—and Darynda was starting to get the hang of them; however, seeing as she had never been to my world, some of the concepts like Go to Jail were a little out there for her.
Dristan had just begun to roll for his turn when the faint sound of music reached my ears. I hefted myself up and walked to the window to see where it was coming from. Off in the distance was the sight of exploding prisms of color, flashing out of what looked like fireworks? I pointed to where it was, which seemed to grab Dristan’s attention.
“What is that?” I asked as my eyes shined with the colors that continued in the distance. He pushed away from the table they had set up for the game and ambled over, peering over my shoulder. “It doesn’t look like someone’s attacking, unless they’re very patriotic about it. It looks like it’s in the fields,” I continued.