“Ryder, I can explain,” I whispered.
“Zahruk, take Synthia to my rooms and do not leave her alone,” Ryder growled. “I’ll be there shortly to deal with her.”
I paused as my heart sank to my stomach.
I didn’t wait for Zahruk to lead the way. Instead, I marched out of the room and made my way to Ryder’s chambers. I could explain this to him if he’d give me half a chance. He had to be willing to give me that chance though, and I wasn’t sure my heart could take the waiting.
Zahruk’s silence was deafening as he stood in the doorway of the giant bedroom. He had to have been on the same mental path Ryder and I had been using; his eyes wouldn’t meet mine. I got it. This was a big secret, and yes, I’d have told them eventually, but on my terms. I had barely wrapped my own head around it; how was I supposed to get them to understand it?
The idea of Ryder discarding me because I’d been crafted to be his perfect mate was something I hadn’t been willing to deal with yet. It felt like forever before Ryder finally walked into the room.
He dismissed Z, who glared once before he left, as Ryder walked over to where I’d chosen to stand beside the window. “You lied to me,” he snapped angrily. “You kept this from me and I’d like to know why.”
“I didn’t lie, Ryder, I withheld the truth,” I whispered. “I’m half-Fae, and can’t lie just like you.”
“You knew this, and yet you didn’t tell me. Omission. It’s the same thing as lying, Synthia. How long have you known you were the daughter of a fucking Goddess?”
“I’ve known she was my mother for a little over a month now, so to answer your question, not very long,” I replied, meeting his angry eyes.
“And you just thought you’d keep it from me?” he demanded.
“I didn’t want to, but I’ve learned things that I’m not sure how to talk about with you,” I replied honestly. My heart was beating wildly as my walls came down around me. It felt as if I’d had the carpet pulled from beneath me.
“Like what? What couldn’t you fucking tell me?” He folded his arms across his chest angrily and as I tried to lay my hand on his arm, he jerked away from my touch.
A single tear slid down my cheek. Here it was; it was going to all change, and I’d lose him forever. “Danu replaced one of Madisyn’s eggs with her own. She created me, for you.”
“Impossible,” he whispered. Ryder whispering was deadly.
“It’s not impossible for a Goddess, Ryder,” I said as I turned to look away from him to stare out the window. “She was there with us at your crowning, helping me to fight off the Mages who helped Faolán. She had been after me to accept her, and I hadn’t. I had been holding back from doing it. When Ristan was hurt, and I thought he was dead, I accepted her. She told me things the next day, things that could never be unheard.”
“I’m running out of patience,” he growled hoarsely.
“I was created to be everything you want and need in a mate. I was made for you, Ryder. It’s why we felt a need to be together on a physical and sexual level when we first met. Even when we hated each other, we felt it. It’s why my brain went from hate to lust in zero-point-five seconds. It’s why you’re obsessed with owning me,” I said as tears fell freely with the ugly truth laid bare. “I balance you, and you balance me. It makes us potential heirs of Faery as a whole. Danu was afraid that you’d turn out to be like your father, and in her mind it made sense. She said that Alazander was corrupted by Bilé, her husband. He cursed the Horde King’s beast to be unstable and to become corrupted by power because he knew her favored creature was the Horde King. Neither one is supposed to directly interfere with us, but they can influence us. Her husband cursed the beast of the Horde King because the he was jealous of the Horde, who she favored more than the other races. So she made me, of her own egg, to be the balance for you. It wasn’t fate that brought us together, it was some stupid revenge, and we are nothing more than pawns in their deadly game.”