Ouch.
“She tried to seduce you?”
“Indeed. She was quite clumsy at it, which drew me in. More the fool was I. I had been watching her. I listened to you and Alden and what you both told me about her being harmless and how sweet she was, and started to think that she wasn’t the enemy, that she was just some stupid Guild librarian that needed to be fucked. So when she so prettily offered me wine, I accepted it. And then the next thing I knew, Alden looked like he was going to fall asleep and she crawled up on my lap like she was going to try and kiss me before I could even register what was going on with Alden. She must have had something in her hand, because I felt a pinch in my neck and that was it, lights out,” he growled with self-loathing. “So there you have it, Syn. I was too busy trying to fuck some little minx who wouldn’t know what to do with a cock if it came with step-by-step instructions on how to use it.”
“I’m not so sure she was aware that she was helping the Mages directly. She was given orders from an Elder, Ristan,” I said softly. “She’s of the Guild, and if she had known what they were, I don’t think she’d have helped them.”
“Bullshit!” he said and stood violently until he realized he still held Kahleena, and then sat back down and rocked her softly. “She knew, Synthia. She’s Human; don’t buy her lies.”
“She’s the same as I was less than six months ago, Ristan. She’s been programmed to hate the Fae, to keep them from doing harm to the Humans. She’d do anything they asked.”
“That’s crap, and you know it.”
“I’d have done anything they asked me to, and I did. I seduced Fae, and killed them. I left my boyfriend inside a parking garage to die because I was told to abort because I’d gotten too self-assured. He was my world, Ristan, and I left him there to die because those were my orders. I’d have slit my throat had they said to. That’s what they do. It’s how they raised us. We do bad shit and we do it, just as long as they ordered it first. I killed Chandra, without blinking because I was taught to. Just do me a favor when you finally get to her, and remember that I am your friend, and that I was that girl.”
“You changed,” he said as if it somehow made me different.
“Not really. I just learned that I can’t control everything. I learned that you and this world, you’re not my enemy. You and Ryder were the ones who helped me understand the differences between the Fae and what the Fae people really are, not the Guild’s version that they teach us about. That version tells of monsters that feed and kill the Human race. She doesn’t have that, Ristan. Her world just fell apart. I had one that wanted me when mine did. I was foolish back then, and we both know it. But this world,” I smiled at my daughter. “This world gave me them.”
He looked down at Kahleena and back up at me. “She’s my calm, and I’m her protector,” he whispered softly. “She is just about perfect,” he admitted and kissed her head before he handed her to me and started to leave the nursery. Before he reached the door, he turned and looked back at me. “Stay out of my way with the librarian. This one time, Synthia, I’m asking you to back off and leave it be. What I do with Olivia will be my choice, and mine alone. I would have killed you when I first met you if I was a bad judge of character, remember that. I could have easily killed you in the maze at the Dark Fortress without issue. All of us were under orders to kill you if you became a distraction. And trust me, you did and I knew it. We are supposed to follow orders without question like you were. Right now, I’m glad I found a way around those orders. I don’t judge people unfairly, or make hasty decisions like you and Ryder do. This is my concern, one I will take care of how I see fit.”
When he was gone, I smiled down at Kahleena as she closed her eyes but continued to pucker her lips. “No, there’s no just about it, Kahleena, you are perfect.”