I could not kill this man, not even if we were the final two in the Battle of Gaius. I would rather kill myself.
“You are mine.”
CHAPTER TEN
* * *
My happiness was fleeting, as I knew that it would be.
The next morning, before the sun had even begun to warm the air with a wash of pale gold, the screech of the gates to the ludus opening rent the silence in two.
In our room, Christus and I looked at each other with somber expressions.
This was it.
Threading our fingers together, we walked out of the room as one. Instead of the panic that I had expected, I found that I was strangely calm.
There was no way to get through this, except to get through it. I knew that if I were to let my thoughts linger on the potential outcome, I might lose my tenuous grip on sanity.
The carpentum—one far more ornate than any I had ever seen—had been pulled right into the training area. It was accompanied by a half-dozen Roman soldiers, clad in armor, wicked-looking blades sheathed at their hips.
“Get in.”
Gaius was nowhere to be found, and it was a smart move on his part. Soldiers or not, had the man entered the bowels of a ludus full of trained gladiators this morning, given the mood of the men in the past week, he likely would not have left alive.
“We are coming!” I spoke sharply when one of the soldiers smacked my bottom, hard, urging me into the back of the wagon when my movements were deemed not swift enough. I heard Christus growl from behind me, and shot him a warning glance.
We were, at the moment, unarmed. Angering the soldiers would only result in an injury for one of us, and we needed to be in top condition if either of us was to survive.
I cringed at the thought. Yes, it would likely take the both of us working together to stay alive. And then one of us would be forced to kill the other . . . and I would not be killing Christus.
“Hello, lovely Lilia.”
My feet had barely made it onto the wooden bottom of the carpentum when the man already seated in it addressed me. It was Bavarius, sitting in the wagon, looking ready to take a journey that I had not thought he was going on.
I recoiled, backing up rapidly. Christus was behind me, and his hands came to rest possessively on my hips.
“What are you doing here?” Lovely Lilia . . . something in the way in which Bavarius addressed me worried at a memory, but I could not connect them and did not have time to think on it longer. “I thought we were to be taken to the arena.” I did not like being in such close quarters with the man—his stench made my skin crawl. It helped that Christus was there, soothing me with his touch.
The noise of the wagon and the soldiers had brought the men stumbling from their own quarters. In singles and pairs, they silently made their way onto the sands, and not a one of them looked happy.
“What is he doing up there?” It was one of those closest to Bavarius himself who spoke, and it thrilled me instead to see the betrayal on his face.
Arrogant to the last, Bavarius settled back on the bench on which he was seated, the picture of nonchalance. “Has no one yet shared this?” His smile was smug, and I wanted to take his lips and twist them until he cried. “I have been invited to play in the games as well. Three gladiators from the house of Philipus Septus Octavius. Does that not make you happy, lovely Lilia?”
Lovely Lilia . . . in that second I knew. “You are the one telling Gaius about me.” Bavarius smirked and did not deny it. I felt sick.
“What did he promise you?” From behind me, Christus’ voice was hot with anger. “Did he promise that you would win these games if you told him secrets? That coin and fame would be yours and yours alone?”
Bavarius merely shrugged, content with the deal that he had clearly made. I ground my teeth together, struggling with the well of feeling—it had been enough, knowing that someone was watching me, and was reporting details of my life to Gaius. But that that person was Bavarius was an extra blow.
The thought of his eyes on me at all revolted me to my core.
“Ignore him.” I felt the strength of Christus at my side, watched as he glared at Bavarius. I felt better with my lover’s dominating presence there. I knew that Bavarius was far less likely to try anything with me while Christus hovered protectively.
Inhaling deeply, I took one long look around the training area. The men surrounded it in a rough circle, their faces pale in the waning moonlight. None of them looked pleased. Not only had Bavarius betrayed one of the brotherhood—me—he had cheated each of them out of their fair chance at fame.
A sudden realization made me laugh. Bavarius stared at me as if I had gone mad, and I could not help but smile even more.