“I do not know what to say.” Since it seemed that the dominus was trying to give up on me at any rate, I turned to Christus and spoke freely. “Why would you tell our master such a thing?”
Christus’ face darkened with anger. I knew, of course, exactly why he would concoct this tale. He was hoping that Gaius would take pity on a woman who was with child, and that he would exempt me from the games. That he would choose someone else—someone like Christus, who I knew would volunteer to take my place before anyone else could even draw in a breath.
“You have made a mess of things.” I hissed the words out angrily, glaring at my lover as I addressed him.
What I knew that Christus did not was what I had seen in the eyes of the man-child the night before. There was no sanity in the noble, and no pity either. He would not think twice about throwing his supposedly pregnant obsession into the games.
Though it had not at all been what he meant, Christus’ actions had solidified my fate . . . at least, if the dominus were to tell Gaius of this conversation.
I had one idea left. Against everything that I tried to tell it, my heart leapt with hope.
“Please, Dominus. I beg it of you.” I thought about dropping to my knees to demonstrate devotion, but the dominus knew me far too well—he would know that it was naught but a display. “Do not speak to Gaius of this story. Do you not see? I know that any hope I have of escaping these games is slim, a whisper, really, but if you tell him of this, then even that goes away.”
“You do not know of what you speak!” Christus’ words were colored crimson with his anger. “This could save you. This could keep you alive, woman!”
“Enough!” Standing abruptly, the dominus slapped his palms down flat on the desk. “Lilia, I do not wish to see you participate in this sham of a competition any more than your champion here does. Entirely apart from any affection that I have held for you over the years, if you die, I lose the gladiator who brings in most of the coin to this household. I have children to feed, a ludus to run. My wife desires many fine things, and I enjoy having wine on hand to drink. If you die, much of that is gone.”
I ground my teeth together. I did not like being viewed as a commodity, though I knew that, to most Romans, that was my sole purpose.
The dominus pinched the bridge of his nose between his forefinger and thumb as I exchanged a helpless look with Christus, who was clearly still furious with me. I opened my mouth to speak, but my master spoke first.
“I do not know what to do, Lilia. As you saw last night, I have no power to control the man.” I narrowed my eyes and bit my tongue, for I wanted to retort that he could not have known if he had any power, for he had not tried to exert any.
“Dominus—”
“What a lovely surprise.” A shudder ran through me—I would have known that voice anywhere, burned as it now was into my brain. How the man could have wrought such fear from me when he had yet to touch me, I did not know, but as soon as he entered the small office, I began to tremble.
Though I made certain to stare straight ahead, Gaius crossed directly to me and tilted my chin up with one finger pressed beneath it. His hands were cold, and I tamped down the urge to bite that finger right off.
He forced me to look into his eyes. They had not changed from the night before, even though this morning he wore at least a thin veneer of normality.
They crinkled with amusement at my obvious struggle for control of my emotions. From behind me, I heard a low growl.
Christus had noticed, as well, and he was not pleased.
“I find your trembling so very sweet.” The whisper was intimate, the tone the kind that should be reserved for lovers.
I found myself gagging. With a soft chuckle, Gaius released my chin, then sauntered the rest of the way across the office. He did not even nod at the dominus—did not acknowledge him in any way—as he propped a hip on the wood of the desk, blocking the man from my view.
“Now, what is this that I have heard from the hallway? My precious Lilia is with child?”
Frantically I turned to Christus. This situation had just spun dangerously out of control, and insane as Gaius was, I could not anticipate his response, could not decide upon the best course of action.
Gaius clearly enjoyed the wordless struggle, and his face contorted with mirth. When he had finished laughing, he fixed me with that stare of his, the one that managed to hit without a hand ever being raised.
“Do not lie to me, Lilia. I was outside the room when Christus made his confession to Philipus here.” His eyes narrowed, and I knew that he was not pleased. “You have been naughty, my little Lilia. Fucking a gladiator behind your master’s back.” He cheapened it with so few words, made the bond that I shared with my gladiator nothing more than a quick fuck. “If this were my ludus, I would punish you for such behavior. Punish you in so many delicious ways.”