Seduced by the Gladiator(33)

I squeezed my eyes shut as I let my memory take over. Perhaps it would have been better for me to just go with Brutus that evening. Perhaps it meant that I would not have been standing where I was now.

“Since that day, every time that I have met the man, he has spoken of you—sometimes no more than just a slip of your name, said in passing.” Frowning, the dominus swirled his wine in his cup, contemplating it for so long that I might have screamed, had my throat not been so dry.

“For weeks now, I have suspected that he has had a man in our ludus passing along details of your life, your comings and goings.” My stomach lurched.

I did not like the idea of being watched. The trapped sensation that I felt whenever anyone came too close to me—anyone save my friend Darius, and now Christus—rose, and I tried to swallow down the panic that accompanied it.

“Why?” I truly did not understand. “I am a slave.”

The dominus’ eyes narrowed a bit at my words, and I knew that he had not cared much for my description of myself. There were Romans—few of them, and far between—who had an affection for their slaves. I knew that my master had such a feeling for me. I also knew, though, that these affections were akin to one that a person might feel for an animal. We were still not quite people, no matter how well we were treated.

The dominus might have soft feelings toward me, but it was because in a group of rough, dirty men, I was different, if only because I possessed a cunt rather than a cock, and because I brought coin to the household.

Still, I was grateful for his warning, and told him so, though I did not see what I could possibly do about it.

“Lilia, I do not think that you quite understand.” The dominus raked a hand through his dark hair, and I saw for the first time that it was threaded with gray. “I think that Gaius has built his entire battle around you.”

I stared, not sure that I believed the words. “That cannot be.”

I had never actually met the man. The closest that I had ever been to him was earlier that day, in the market.

“I do know what game he is playing, Lilia, but you need to be careful. You have the strength, the skill to win this.” Days earlier, I would have felt pride at the words from my master. Now I felt only panic. “But the other participants will have been handpicked by Gaius, all to serve whatever purpose he has in mind for you. They will be perhaps not as skilled as you, but they will be bigger, they will be strong, and above all, they will not fight fairly.”

The words struck precisely where the man had intended them to—in my pride.

“I would rather die than fight without honor.” The words came automatically to my lips, but as soon as I had spoken them, I doubted their sincerity.

Something had passed between myself and Christus, something that had linked us together. No matter how I fought it, there was a part of me that insisted that I should do whatever I could to win, simply so that I could return to his arms again.

Never mind that anything between us could never work, not in the end. My desires cared nothing for my reason.

“Gratitude for your caution, Dominus. I am indebted to you.” I studied the troubled man before me. Undoubtedly he would make piles of denarii from participating in these games, and yet he still seemed troubled—troubled at the thought of me ensnared in the net of the emperor’s brother.

It spoke of his character, and told me that perhaps I was worth a hint more to him than an animal, after all. With that thought uppermost in my mind, I wanted to ease his troubles, if only a bit.

“Do not concern yourself with my well-being, Dominus. I will return home.” I nodded with much more confidence than I felt. If the game were to be a fair one, one where the smartest and strongest triumphed, then I knew, truly knew, that I could win.

I was not good at deception, was not good at games. Whatever Gaius had planned, I did not have any hope that I would be able to figure it out.

The dominus managed a small smile, but he appeared wearier than I had ever seen him.

“As your pater familias, your well-being is fully my responsibility, Lilia.” Lifting his cup to his mouth, he drained the contents in one large gulp, then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “However, my power has its limits. I cannot go against the brother of the emperor. All I can do is pray to the gods to keep you safe.”



Christus was sitting on his bedroll, his head cradled in his hands, when I entered our private chambers. The evening meal was being served, but I yet again had no appetite.

“You have been chosen, have you not?” He stood, the muscles of his legs taut with tension as he strode over to me and wrapped me in his embrace.